In which Finneas' best friend, Jen Roscoe and his younger sister, Billie Eilish, stay at his home during quarantine and become more than the acquaintances they once were.
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jenroscoe 4am walks hit different
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mariesims oooo look at me i'm so edgy bc i walk around in the night jenroscoe oooo look at me im jealous of my super hot bff
nataliaaa wtf? go home jenroscoe nahhhh
finneas home for breakfast? jenroscoe i'd never miss one of ur breakfasts
[LOCKDOWN LOVER]
Jen sat on a bench up a local hiking trail overseeing Los Angeles. The sun had barely rose and the air was still dewey. A joint rested between her fingers as The 1975 blasted through her AirPods. Her mind hadn't stopped racing since she tried to kiss Billie, and she didn't imagine that it would stop anytime soon.
She began her descent down the trail at around 6am, the substance having calmed her down and her mind feeling slightly less foggy. She inhaled the crisp air with each step she took, closing her eyes every so often and exhaling upon opening them. She didn't feel particularly anxious to see Billie, she just felt anxious for the awkward situation that was awaiting her.
When she arrived back to the house, Jen headed straight for the kitchen where Finneas and Claudia stood. "Are you guys free to talk?"
They nodded, able to sense that something was wrong. The three stepped out into the back yard, plopping down onto the floor and sitting in a circle. Jen told them the story from start to finish, stopping to answer any questions and clarifying anything that was unclear to then.
"Shit," Finneas sighed after she had finished speaking. He was worried that this would happen, and ultimately drive a wedge between himself and Billie, as well as himself and Jen. He wasn't mad at Jen, not in the slightest, he was just mad that the outcome could screw up the dynamic of the house.
Claudia bit her lip, unsure what to say. She didn't feel as though it was her place to repeat what Billie had told her the previous day, but she also didn't think it was fair for Jen to beat herself up about the whole situation. She remained quiet though, honouring her promise made with Billie.
"I should probably go and check on her," Finneas announced and the three dispersed, Claudia returning to making acai bowls, Jen heading to the studio, and Finneas traipsing upstairs.
Billie lay in bed, her eyes red from the lack of sleep and an overwhelming feeling of nervousness in her stomach. She hadn't been able to rest without being tucked up in Jen's arms, nor had she been able to stop thinking about her.
Finneas gave her a tender smile as he entered the room. "Jen told me what happened."
"I never meant to hurt her." It was true. She was just terrified of the backlash she would face for kissing a woman, the trolls online calling her slurs, fans not accepting her for who she is, coming to terms with who she really was. It was all far too scary for Billie to handle.
"I know Bil. Do you, you know, feel the same?"
"No Finn, I don't like her. She's literally just a friend to me." Billie's stomach turned as she said this, her lies seeping out of her mouth.
She hoped that Claudia had kept her secret safe.
[LOCKDOWN LOVER]
"I'm not gonna tell her Billie," Claudia reassured. Billie had came to the older girl in a state of panic, begging her not to tell Jen or Finneas what she had revealed to her the day before.
"Thank you," Billie exhaled, grabbing Claudia and hugging her tightly. A tear spilled onto her shoulder as Claudia squeezed her tightly, stroking her back as she did so. "I don't know why I'm being like this, I'm sorry."
"Because you want to be with her Bil."
[LOCKDOWN LOVER]
Jen and Billie avoided each other like the plague for the rest of the day. They ate breakfast, lunch and dinner apart, didn't enter the studio when the other was in there and wouldn't dare go into the bedroom at the same time.
Once it hit 9pm the realisation that they did in fact share a bed dawned on them both, and led to a widespread panic across the house. However, it ultimately led to both girls sheepishly walking into the room, getting into bed and laying as far away from each other as possible.
"I'm sorry," Billie's voice croaked, her back still to Jen. Jen shrugged, there wasn't really much to say. She just didn't like her back, that wasn't her fault. It'd be completely unreasonable to blame someone for how they feel, Jen knew this, but she just wished Bille had made it clearer from the start.
"It's fine. You can't help how you feel."
"No bu-."
"Seriously Billie, it's fine," Jen snapped. She shook her head almost immediately after. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that," she added quietly.
Billie wished that she was brave enough to turn around, grab her face and kiss her until the world ended.
But she wasn't.
So instead she closed her eyes and hoped that when she awoke everything would be back to normal.
[LOCKDOWN LOVER]
It wasn't.
In fact, Billie would almost describe the situation as worse.
Jen didn't have the energy for it. She had never chased a girl, and she wasn't about to start now. As amazing as Billie was, the consequences of her love seemed dire to the pair building a relationship, they both knew it.
They spent the next few days making occasional small talk, but usually ignoring one another for the most part. Their studio sessions became rare, and Jen was used to working on her music alone now upstairs.
She sat in their bedroom, starting an Instagram Live and grabbing her guitar out of it's case. "Give me some songs to sing," Jen prompted, looking at the requests in the the comments.
"An original? Shit I don't know," Jen teased, a beaming smile on her face. It was the most she'd smiled in days. "I have a little something that I've been working on that I think you'll like."
Jen began singing, the comments flooding in. "It must be about Billie", "LOUIS V??? ITS OBVIOUSLY ABOUT BILLIE AHHHHH".
As the song finished Jen began to read the comments once more. "I love you too Alexis, of course I'll sing some Ed Sheeran for you." The stream continued on for an hour or so before Jen waved her goodbyes just as her phone pinged with a text message.
