Be Loved

Chapter 13

To my beloved daughter Tshegofatso

Happy 5th birthday. I dream of you. I imagine you being taller and running fast and having your mom's laugh. I wish I could see you. I hope it would be soon. I know you don't read these letters, so I hope the adult who sees things will feel for me and realise that I am a father desperate to meet his only daughter. Please, please find it in your heart to bring her to me.

Love, A father.

Molatlhegi is waiting in his cell to be taken to the visiting room. He decided to not allow his fear of the other shoe falling to take the joy of seeing his daughter away. Warden Maluleke comes to fetch him

"Molatlhegi, I am here. Your daughter has arrived. Are you ready?" Warder Maluleke announces to him.

"Yes, I am. Can I ask you something Maluleke?"

"Sure"

"Do you remember what you said about disturbing my daughter's life?"

"Yes I remember"

"Do you think I am doing the right thing. You tell the truth and I need to hear it."

"I was talking nonsense. Every child needs their father. You are bringing light to her life. Love is worth the risk. Now lets go and not keep her waiting"

Warder Maluleke is right. Keeya had already arrived and was seated in the visiting room. Thulani reminded her that they would be afforded the privacy they needed. He explained that if she wants to leave, she has the right to stand up and leave the room. He showed her that there was a panic button under the table, in case she feels unsafe. Thulani reassured her that she is safe and should not be scared of being left alone with Molatlhegi.

Warden Maluleke arrives with Molatlhegi. She cuffs his ankles to the chair and reminds him that she is by the door and any wrong move, she will jump in and intervene. Warden Maluleke leaves the room.

"Hello Keeya" greets Molatlhegi

"Please call me Tshegofatso. I... I like it" explains Tshegofatso.

"My beloved daughter Tshegofatso. Hello." Says Molatlhegi with a smile.

"I want to remind you that I have a list of questions and that you have to be honest with me and answer everything." Tshegofatso wants to make sure that Molatlhegi did not forget their rules of engagement.

"Yes. I am ready." There is a hint of concern in his voice, as he wonders what question she would ask him.

"I know you were there with my mother on her last day. No one has ever told me about her last day on earth. I want to know." The question makes Molatlhegi uneasy. His body tenses up and he no longer gives eye contact to Tshegofatso

"I'm not sure that is a good idea"

"Why not? I have a right to know"

"I'm not ready"

"No. That's not part of the deal"

"I... I don't... I don't ever go back there. Please don't make me go back there" Molatlhegi's hands begin to shake as he struggles to control his emotions. It feels like he is ready to explode

'I came here for answers. We made a deal. I can walk away and not come back. Do you want that? You owe me! She was my mother."

"I've not gone back there. Even in therapy I don't go back there. There's a hole there. I'll answer any of your questions, just not this one." Molatlhegi lifts his head, trying to show her his face, in the hope that she would see his pain and change the question.