Be Loved

Chapter 16

Dear Ntate Phiri and Mama Tshidi

I am sorry ok. I am sorry that Kaboentle passed away. I'm sorry that I brought shame and loss into your lives. But what you are doing is causing Tshegofatso to grow up like an orphan. She is not an orphan. I exist. Please. I just want a visit. If you can't, can you at least send me a picture of her? I want to see how she looks. Please. Find it in your hearts to do this. My daughter is now 8 years old and she deserves to know that she is loved by her father.

Regards Molatlhegi

Ntate Phiri and Nkgono Tshidi are unhappy with how often Tshegofatso speaks about her father. She told them that she no longer wants to be called Keeya. They argued about it and decided that in the house, they can call her Keeya, but everyone else should refer to her as Tshegofatso. There was an occasion where Ntate Phiri was struggling with his computer and Tshegofatso commented, saying "You know my dad studied IT. Do you think he would be able to fix that? Actually, I should research what IT people do. All I know is its about computers and stuff".

It upset Ntate Phiri and he decided to not show his disapproval. Nkgono Tshidi advised that until they have a concrete plan, they should pretend like they support her relationship with her father. They noticed that if they don't engage the topic about her father, she speaks about him less. They mastered the art of changing the topic without making it too obvious that they don't want to talk about it. Even in the instances where she updates them on what her visit was like with her father, Ntate Phiri and Nkgono Tshidi simply listen to her and offer no comments.

Both Molatlhegi and Tshegofatso are excited for their next visit. Immediately when they are given their privacy, Tshegofatso gets right at.

"People have been telling me that you are in prison for kidnapping, but no one has told me who you kidnapped. So... did you kidnap someone?"

"They claim I kidnapped someone. In my mind, I was doing all I could to be a good father" explains Molatlhegi.

"You kidnapped your child? Wait, I thought I was your only child..." as she said the last words in her sentence, she hears herself and realises that she is the child.

"You are in prison for kidnapping me," asks a confused Tshegofatso.

"Yes"

"How can a father kidnap their own child," asks an even more confused Tshegofatso.

"That is part of why all of this makes people upset. So much went wrong. So much happened that is unfair and nobody wants to take responsibility. And no one can give me back the time that I lost." Tshegofatso could see that Molatlhegi was angry as he explained his experience.

"If there is one thing that I've learned in these last couple of months, is that there is a lot that can happen to people. So what drove you to end up being in prison for kidnapping me?"

"When you were 6 months old, I was back at work, living in a decent townhouse, healthier, and definitely deserving to be a single father. But because I don't have relatives other than a grandmother in the rurals, I wanted to raise you with the help of Ntate Phiri and Nkgono Tshidi. I didn't want them to ever feel like they would not have access to you or get to have a relationship with you. You are the link to them. So first I tried to speak with them to willingly give you back to me. They didn't want to. They told me that I was a murderer and could never be fit to raise a child. I knew they wanted to drive me to a point of anger and rage so that I did something to prove them right" explains Molatlhegi.

"What then did you do when they said no," asks Tshegofatso

"I then decided to pursue the courts. A lawyer I found told me that this would take very long, as fathers in that time were not afforded rights. I needed to prove that I could be trusted to raise a girl child as a single father. When I saw how much the courts could cost me in lawyer fees, I realised that I needed to work on my finances and get an extra income. So I freelanced on different projects, saving that money. But somehow your grandparents heard that I went to a lawyer, and they changed their tune. They asked me to negotiate with them again."

"Alright, so Ntate Phiri and Nkgono Tshidi were able to see the error in their ways" asks Tshegofatso. She doesn't know where this story is going, but there is hope that her grandparents turn out to be the good people in the story.

"So I arrive at the house. They were honouring your mom's birthday, so there were elders present, as well as your mom's cousins that I knew. They said that they are willing to allow me to see you more often, with the goal of me taking you permanently. They just wanted to ensure your safety. It sounded wise. The truth is I was young, I'm not a woman. I would need to get used to nurturing a child. So they agreed that I could take you with me to spend the night at my home and bring you back the following afternoon. They gave me your cot, your overnight back, bottle, diapers, the works. I was excited. I was happy. I felt like they were trusting me and honouring your mom's requests."

"Why do I sense a but?"

"But when I arrived the following afternoon, to bring you back, I found a police van waiting outside their house. I didn't think anything of it. Instead, I was all happy and excited about being a real dad for a day. Then I get in the house and the cops are told that I took you without their permission and that I should be charged for kidnapping... I had to plead for them to believe me, but they were so convincing. I was saved by one of your mom's cousins, who confirmed over the phone, my version of the story. That's when I realised that your grandparents would never allow me to take care of you. So I decided to make a plan on how I would take you and we would leave the province and live far-away and start over."

Tshegofatso was holding onto every last word Molatlhegi was saying, but they ran out of time. She told Molatlhegi that they will pick up the story from where he left off because this is what she really wants to know.