Be Loved

Chapter 10

'So friend, are you really going to see your dad again?" Sharon asks Keeya.

"It still sounds unreal to hear the word dad and you in a sentence about me. But I think I am ready. It's been 10 days and I can't stop thinking about him. And every time I think about him, I realize I know nothing about him. Nothing. There is nothing to think about him other than the fact that I know nothing about someone who made me."

"Bars my friend!"

"Mxm" replies an annoyed Keeya

"Kopa di solution tle" asks Keeya.

"Ok. Ok, how about you write down questions. In that way, when you meet him, you can go through your list and not forget anything" suggests Sharon.

"So like, I am interviewing him?"

"Ya. You are on a fact-finding mission. Then you can know everything you need to know about him. You know friend, this is exciting. I'm kinda jealous of you being able to do this. For some of us, we know our fathers but they deny us. We could visit them, but their wives set their dogs on us."

"Sharon, that's depressing. I'm sorry. I'm so insensitive, getting all excited about my dad, meanwhile, you have...."

"Daddy issues. I have accepted it. Therapy helps friend. Your story will also be like therapy for me. So here are some suggestions I have for you. Ask him, what is his favourite colour, what does he dream about at night, how is prison life, did he ever miss you, do you look like him, do you look like how he imagined"

"Slow down Sharon, tjo, that's a lot of questions. And they are good ne choma, but I want to ask him other questions. Like how he met my mom, what actually happened to my mom, what did he do when my mom died and how exactly did he end up in prison, and did he look for me. I want to know if I was worth anything to him, or if he just wants me to help him feel better about himself."

"Those questions Keeya. Wow. Go ahead. Ask him. I'm going to pray that he is honest to you. Because you deserve the truth my friend. I'm rooting for you. I love you"

"I love you too my Sharon"

Sharon continued to help Keeya with questions that she could ask Molatlhegi. When the call was over, Keeya made contact with Leko the Activist, and asks them to arrange a second visit with her father.

Leko the Activist made Pearl aware of the visit request. She was so excited, that she traveled to the prison to deliver the good news to Molatlhegi.

"Mo. Your daughter called us and asked for a second visit"

"Are you serious? She has been so quiet, I thought that I would never see her again"

"Mo you were great. There is no textbook that teaches you how to meet a child you have not seen for 14 years." Pearl could not hide her admiration for Molatlhegi.

"You only see the good in me. But you are not Tshego... Keeya... There is no telling what she may believe about me or feel about me" replies a circumspect Molatlhegi.

"You have to see it positively Mo. It might mean that she could one day testify that you need to be released on parole"

"I don't want to think like that. I'm not here to use her. I just want her to love me. How do you make a teenager love you?"

"Don't look at me Mo. I have zero parenting experience. I don't have a father-daughter experience either. But... if you show her the side of you that I know, she will love you because you are a good man"

"I don't know if I will get to have 5 years to charm her with my personality. I feel like Eminem in 8 Mile, only having one opportunity to impress."

"Wow, Eminem... how old are you grandpa!" Laughs Pearl

"Says someone who is 6 years younger than me. You know who Eminem is! You vibed to him too" replies Molatlhegi with a naughty grin.

"Ok, this isn't about me. But believe me. She will love you. You are allowed to have hope."

"I'll do that if you do me a favour"

"Anything for you." Pearl responds so quickly, that she feels overzealous.

"Sorry for sounding overexcited, but I just want you to know that you have someone on your side in me"

"Thank you Pearl. After Warden Maluleke gave me back my unsent letters, I realised that I may never get a chance to get to know my daughter, or for my daughter to know me. So I wrote more things. A collection of thoughts and stories that I need you to give to Tshego... Keeya... so that when I mess things up or never get out of prison, she gets to know me. I need you to compile them and make them look girly... I'm in prison... there's not much you can do to make things look fancy"

Pearl feels honoured by this request and Molatlhegi hands over everything he has written and the old letters that were never sent. Molatlhegi thanks her and told her that he is indebted to her.