taste // billie eilish

thirty three

three days after harpers overdose

billies pov

"thank you berlin! you guys were crazy! i love you all so much" i say into the crowd of screaming fans, some smiling, some crying.

i grab the water bottle and inhaler my mom had ready for me before running into the greenroom which is something i didn't start doing until this tour.

i like the feeling of being alone for a couple minutes while i catch my breath and look back over the show. i hated being bombarded with questions and flashing cameras right off stage.

i quickly chug down the water bottle before i hear a knock on the door which obviously annoyed me but i quickly ignored it.

"billie?" i than hear along with more knocking.

"i need atleast 10 more minutes" i shout back before taking a puff from my inhaler.

the door than slams open revealing zoe standing there, an expression on her face i couldn't read.

zoe usually doesn't come on tour with me, but i've been feeling extra lonely recently and having her with me has honestly felt amazing.

but she understands i need my personal space sometimes, especially after my shows which is why i don't understand what's so important she needed to barge in like that.

"what?" i ask her breaking the weird tension that was in the room.

zoe than closes the door behind her as the goodbye track just starts to finish being played.

"it's harper" she says blankly.

i just stare at her for a seconded.

what could be possibly so important about harper. no one close to me has even thought about bringing her name up around me for the last two months.

"what?" is all i know what to respond with.

"harper, she's in the hospital. she tried to kill herself" zoe than says lowly, looking down at her feet.

right when the words leave her mouth my heart sinks.

"k-kill herself?" i question to make sure i heard her right even though i know i did.

she just nods, not meeting my face.

"is she okay?" i than ask after a moment of silence.

"she's not dead, so i think so, i don't really know billie" zoe than adds. "kaitlyn just texted me and said, well here just read it" zoe says taking her phone from her pocket and throwing it onto my lap.

i unlock her phone, going to her contacts and quickly finding kaitlyns at the top.

kaitlyn: hey zoe, you are the only person i know who can get this message to billie so please do. about three nights ago harper was found in her bathroom, barley alive after a overdose. she's in the hospital now alive, but not doing well. not really here if you get where i'm going at. not with us. it's been three days and i've finally worked up the courage to tell you and i just feel like billie deserves to know. she also left a note where billie was mentioned alongside her family. please just let billie know for me. thank you zoe<3