Knowing Him

CHAPTER XII

Today, could've been my best day.

For a girl, Having my debut to enter womanhood is a gift, but right now, I'm not even sure if I will consider my birthmonth as a gift or a curse.

"Caferine , please eat something."

I was just silently looking at the coffin in front of me. It should've been a sun lounger, where my dad should be lying in front of the pristine crystal clear water of Bali Indonesia, We could've been shopping and bonding together with our Family, but with what had just happened? The worst came, in just a nick of time.

Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na katawan ni Daddy ang nakahimlay sa kabaong na iyon. All of us are still in shock, walang makausap na matino saamin nina mommy at kuya. Mom wasn't talking, she just keeps on crying beside Dads coffin, while kuya Sage was the one attending Dad's wake. Hindi pa kami nakakapag usap matapos kong magising sa Hospital. I woke up a day after the accident.

"At least drink water, hindi pwedeng wala kang kinakain, it's been 2 days na walang laman yang tiyan mo."

"Please... I want to be alone," I told Jet not withdrawing my gaze on my Dad's coffin. I heard him sigh.

"Sige, I'll leave you here alone. But please, just after you eat something," he insisted, hinarap nya na ako ngayon. He was in a squat position in front of me, may hawak na sandwich at bote ng mineral water. I looked at him, he was with me right after I woke up, until now he's beside me. Mapupungay na ang mata nya, pareho ko rin walang tulog dahil sa pagbabantay. He's just going home to clean himself and return here right after.

Wala akong lakas para makipagtalo, kinuha ko na sakanya ang pagkain, naaawa ako sakanya dahil nandito parin sya kahit hindi ko rin naman sya maentertain. Wala na sigurp akong maiiiyak dahil parang nasaid na ang luha ko. I'm still nauseated. Umiikot pa rin iyong ulo ko sa bilis ng mga pangyayari. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin maintindihan. Hindi ko matanggap. Ayokong tanggapin.

We are all aware about the grave threats our family has been receiving , but those are all words, puro lang pananakot at bluff, Hindi ko akalain na darating sa puntong masasaktan ang kung sino man saamin. Ang may mamatay, not this.Never like this.

"Please. I want to be alone" I told him as I felt another pang in my chest. Muling inaatake ng paninikip ang dibdib ko sa sama ng loob. Muli akong napa-yuko, nagiinit muli ang mata ko, hinayaan na isa-isang tumulo ang mga luha. I wanted to cry silently. I wanted to mourn silently.I just wanted this to be a big nightmare.

Before I doze off that night, I still felt the warmth of his embrace. On his last moments, Dad indulged me with my whims and gifts. Before he left, he made me feel how he loved me very much more than anything else. Hindi nya ako hinayaang masaktan nang maaksidente. But fate has its own game. A game never fair.

"Lyla..." I heaved a long sigh when I heared my brother called me.

"Mabilis lang tayo sa study..." his voice was also hoarse and he looks very tired. Magang maga ang mata. Saka nya ako tinikuran at umakyat sa mini library ng bahay. Tiningnan ko naman si Jet, tumango lamang sya saka ako tumayo at dumeretso na sa library, Kung saan naroon din si Mommy at iilang abogado at mga partners namin sa Firm.

Huli akong pumasok sa kwartong iyon. Nakayuko akong dumating at pagod na binalingan ang mga taong naroroon. Nang iangat ko ang tingin ko, agad kong nakita si Atty. Villaruel, Ang isa sa mga kasosyo ni Daddy.

"I know... I know that this is not the best time, but we have to discuss business," he said.

Walang umimik saamin. Kuya was just sitting beside mom, marahang hinahaplos ang likod nito. Mommy nodded as She stood up. Pinunasan iyong mga mata nyang halos mugto na sa kakaiyak. She looks so worn out, ngayon ko lang nakita si mommy na hindi maayos ang pagkakabagsak ng buhok at hindi nag abalang mag ayos ng mukha. Hindi ko kayang tingnan ang ganoong lagay ni mommy, para akong sinasaksak sa dibdib. Hindi ako matigil sa pag-iyak. Hindi ko pa rin matanggap. Siguro hanggang hindi ko nakikita mismo gamit ang dalawang mata ko iyong mga hold upper na nanambang sa sasakyan namin nang gabing iyon na nabubulok sa kulungan ay may isang parte pa rin sa akin na aasa na isa lamang itong masamang panaginip...