Emerald

1. Bring it Karma

{ CHAPTER ONE }

It all began with a lot of tears and choices... Choices that I didn't want to choose. A lot of things that I wish... I could have changed, my life. At the ripe age of seventeen, my father left my mother at the mercy of drugs while he ran off with another woman enjoying his precious life. His so-called excuse of not being able to live up to our expectations burdened him. What was funny was that the only expectation we ever had from him was love. An expression that he as a husband and father could not give.  

Before he left all I ever asked of him was, did he ever feel for me? Did he ever love me? But he just shrugged it off as I was dust on his shoes and said with no emotion in his voice.

'' It was just sex with your mother, you were a mistake just like her''.

Nothing hurts more in the world than to see your own family turn out on you. The pain is like a knife piercing through your heart. When a child feels low they turn to their parents, in hopes that they will encourage them and give them the comfort, that this cruel world would never give.

Children who were my age would wake up to a bright sun and soft blankets wrapped around their sleeping form. But for me the sunlight burned the wounds evident on my hand; the blankets suffocated me and the reek of alcohol and sex in the air made me sick to my stomach.

I wanted to leave, I wanted to run,

far away from my mother.

I just could not stand her, every week there would be a new man in her bed. A new sets of promise that she'd tell me.

'' My precious jade, I promise sweety, I will try''. She would whisper in my ear, as I would carry her naked form to bed-- wrapping a blanket to cover her decency.

I internally scoffed... try, I was left back with broken glass, blood and white powder all over my mother's nose. But I had to work hard, running around with five jobs on my head wasn't easy. I worked as a server in three restaurants and the strip club too.

what? you gotta admit strip clubs pay you more than any restaurant or cafe. The club that I worked in paid me thrice than the restaurant that I served for. This club was also a dirty business of one of the mafia guys. I never really caught the name.

The dim lights, the smell of whiskey, moans and groans of frustration and pleasure it was quite obvious in the clubs. After serving the men their drinks, they'd eye the outfit that I would wear. A white crisp top and short skirt, so short that if I'd bend down. It would leave much to the imagination.

Our attires at the club mattered, all we ever had to do was show off some skin. The women would wear skimpy clothes, laces, nets, nipple diamond pasties. The only thing I liked about this club was the beautiful dim lights, it took me to a very aesthetic but sinful place. The stage where women would give the horn dogs a full strip dance, while they practically looked like chicken meat dangling off a skewer. But the men loved it.

It was a lively club with booming music that would send you to an overdrive, while the alcohol would get you some kick out of it. I started working at the club when I was 18 years old, I would get usually tipped for my bottom, I can't lie...it's plump. But that would also be one of the reasons why the men would lead to misbehaving with me.

Booty slaps and ongoing flirting, I just didn't pay much attention to any of it, I needed the money to survive and I don't care regardless of what people say. If they cared so much they should pay me my rent and fees.

Choice, destiny, karma... these are the few things that I believed in, your choice is what you choose to do and what you decide is better for you. If you chose something and decide that this is who you want to be, or this is what you want to do. Then even the darkness can not stop you from achieving it.

In life, we have always been given many options to choose from; nothing is too hard we just find excuses and ways to make it difficult and confusing. we have to look closely and notice, that there is a solution to every problem that you were facing.

Our destiny is something which will certainly happen to a conspicuous person in the future, We all want to control our destiny and write our own story. We crave that ability to make sure that things around us work according to our wishes. I craved peace, I wanted love from my mother who would not stop consuming that stupid powder.

Nobody want's pain, suffering, tears, depression and confusion people would never want to experience it; the mere thought of it sounds upsetting to anyone. No one ever asked for it, No one ever wanted it. We're simply pushed into this world, with nowhere to run to. The only thought that I would be able to process and chant like a mantra in my head was.

'' Jade you are strong, you are beautiful and you can do this! Don't break, Don't cry! ''

But every once in a while I would go visit the graveyard and sit near my grandmother, I would find a sense of peace and love whenever I would run to her. The moment I shared the events of how my day went, I was so sure that she would be furious and crying for me.

I would go on and on a rant about how a man would grope me at the club and then the guards would push him off me. How the old ladies sit in the cafe and bitch about how they got sucked into this life of marriage, newlyweds would talk to their friends about how their husband worshipped the ground they walked on and teenagers ogling me as I served them their meals. How mom still wasn't changing and how I was still single with five jobs married to me. I bet listening to all this she would be rolling in her grave.

Every time I would read the words written on her gravestone, I would laugh.

''Satan is not sexy... I want a refund.

this sucks.''

But one of the wise things she would tell me was, '' Don't give up jade. A strong head woman never gives up, She fights for her freedom even when she is pushed down. Don't let anybody push you down my emerald.''

And that's how it is going to be from now on! I am going to fight my way through the toughest challenges. I will stand for myself and my mother. I won't another man crush my heart this time!

Come on Karma bring it, I'm ready for you.

*•*•that's the first chapter up!•*•*
Let me know what you think😊❤️