For When You're A Man (under reconstruction)

Secrets

I found myself in the pool again. Swimming it out wasn't working today. But the good thing about swimming is that no one can see you crying. I disappointed Dad last week. And I swore up and down that I'd be better. But Wale never apologises. And he upset Biola for no reason. It's my fault, she was sticking up for me. And he just threw the fact that she doesn't know anything about her father or the circumstances of her birth in her face. So she threw pepper soup in his. I know it burned his eyes. Serves that bastard right. See, I did it again. I'm a shit person.

After I climbed out, I saw Sebastian. 

"Are you waiting for Jason?" I asked him.

He just walked ahead and gestured for me to follow.

We ended up on the green patch that was usually found empty. It had a pretty flower garden to one side and a wilder side on the other.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said unconvincingly.

He raised a brow.

"We don't know each other, so it's no judgement," he said. Now that made the offer tempting.

"You'll be sorry you asked. My Dad died last month, he was my favourite person on earth. My family's fucked. Everything's fucked. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I said, defeated. Well, that thing about a problem spoken is a problem half solved is a stinking pile of bullshit. I feel just as crap.

"Want a distraction?" He asked.

I nodded until it felt like my head dropped off.

Weirdly, Sebastian Woods was the only true distraction. Whether he was making my anger flare up or telling me odd, unwarranted facts about himself. He really could keep my mind off of things.

"Okay, I'll tell you about myself. I got this nose piercing last year so that I could avoid going in the pool. I hate large bodies of water. I wish I was taller. I was happy when I was seated next to you, because I've been going here since year 7 and I've been the only black guy until a few months ago. But you didn't seem to like me so I went off on you a little," He said.

"I'm sorry, I was dealing with shit and I projected it. That isn't like me. I'll tell you about myself. There's something about me that I've never told anyone and it makes me feel really alone. Sometimes, it makes me push new people away. My older sister is one of my favourite people - she does my hair," I said, gesturing up to the twists I was wearing.

"I have a few secrets too," He said.

"Why are you talking to me?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"That's one of the secrets," He said, stretching the last 's' sound.

"I think your height suits you," I said, changing the subject. I didn't really care why he was talking to me, if I'm being honest. I just wanted it to continue.

"Easy for you to say," He chuckled.

"No, I mean it," I replied, with a little too much enthusiasm.

"Thanks, I think your sister is really good with hair," he said nonchalantly.

I smiled in response. 

"Tell me a secret, even a little one," I enquired.

"I like talking to you," he said.

"I don't know if that's a secret," I laughed.

"Want to get to Economics?" I asked.

"Nope. But let's go anyway." He deadpanned.