For When You're A Man (under reconstruction)

For My Beloved Children #1

***This takes place 2 years after the other events of the story***

Dear Ayomide, Abiola and Adewale,

By the time you're reading this entry, a lot will have changed. You will have grown so much and my little Ayo would be an adult. I hope you all care for each other and protect one another. I'm afraid this is my official goodbye to all of you, since there's no more advice I can give. I have a strong feeling that this is the last night I have.

Wale, you have to believe me when I say that I don't know why you were so angry at me but that whatever I did (or failed to do), I hope you can forgive me. You were my first ever child and I don't want you going through your life hating me. I know how much you care about your siblings. I know you're protecting them. 

Biola, every fibre of my being rushes through your veins no matter what DNA says. My clever and sensible little girl. The mastermind behind all the games and schemes. The glue that holds us all together. You make me so proud.

And little Ayo, my silly one. You live up to your name - joy has arrived. And I'm sure you'll deliever joy to whoever you come to love and in whatever you end up doing. My guess is something where you can be loud, you get that from me.

I love you all more than anything else I've ever loved in this world. Wish me luck as I go into the next one,

Dad.

"I don't think he knew," Wale said after reading the last letter. You could tell how guilty he felt for not being there during Dad's last moments.

He was knawing away at the insides of his cheeks, wishing that he could find a wayto turn back the clock.

"Don't blame yourself," I said, 

"We need to keep his memory alive instead," Biola continued.

"How about, we write him a response - saying everything we ever wanted to tell him." I suggested.

"That's brilliant!" Biola responded.

"Wale, you should be the scribe."

He nodded in agreement.

Dear Dad,

It's us! This is a bit of a late reply but we thought we'd write it anyway.

We are the three musketeers once again, we even have tattoos to prove it! We're each going to tell you something now.

Hi Dad! It's Wale. I don't hate you, I love you so much. The reason I didn't come to see you in the hospital was that I was scared. Your brother took advantage of me as a child and I never reconciled with it. I associated you with him and I kept thinking about what he would say - that you'd hate me if you knew because I would ruin your relationship with him. I know you didn't know. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't mine either. Not visiting you on my designated day is the worst regret of my life and I miss you sorely. Slowly, I'm getting back to being myself. With the help of my dumb little siblings, of course.

Hey Dad! It's Ayo (your favourite). I'm gay. I wish I told you, but I was way too scared. I was scared that you would die without accepting me. I should have trusted you more. I'm glad that I was there to see the end of your life -weird as it sounds. I'm glad you weren't lonely. You went in the middle of a song, remember? I do. But more importantly, I remember all the times we spent together like when you broke the swing at the park and we had to make a run for it or the time Wale spread jam all over your piano. I miss you and I hope you'd be proud of me.

Hi Daddy! It's Biola (save the best till last). I am your daughter and I always have been. I met my bio father and he sucks, no wonder Mum came crawling back to you after she was done with him. And from then, I was your daughter. I get my third eye from you - so I've been told. I can believe that. I'm a councillor now! I help people with families as crazy as ours, isn't that great. If I was to have a family counselling session with all of us right now, I'd have us all have a massive group hug. I'm working on my relationship with Mum and most importantly, I have a nose piercing now. (Sorry)! 

WE LOVE YOU,

Love, Your Beloved Children

So just to keep you all updated, Biola and her birth Dad did not end up seeing eye to eye. He was a super misogynist and didn't understand the importance of getting along with Wale and I.

The twins, however, looked a lot like her and were great fun (two more brothers for Biola, tough luck). We all loved them to pieces and had them over at ours all the time.

Wale still suffers from PTSD and insomnia because of that horrible monster but he's dealing with it. He has his therapy, and he tries to communicate with us as best as he can. Some days are harder than others, but we're getting there.

Biola splits the rent as she's got her first counselling job and I take care of the shopping and the utilities because of my blog 'Firefly on The Wall' (You'll get how clever the name is in a bit), and my seasonal job at Tesco.

We are still working on collecting proof to get that man imprisoned and on the sex offenders list.

Mum comes over sometimes and we are trying - for the sake of Dad's memory - to build something with her but it's hard. Especially on Biola.

As for me, I ended up at Leeds doing History and being the lead singer of our campus band - Firefly. (After the legendary Owl City song).

I've been on dates with swarms of guys that were brilliant but none of it ever felt right. My record situationship lasted a grand total of a month and 5 days.

Call me stupid but I want tingles and cheesy romantic grand gestures and I just haven't met a guy who's willing to give that to me.

But, I'm happier than I have been in a long time. That's what really matters.