The Forced Arrangement [Harry Styles]

12: Broken and Fixed With A Kiss

Chapter 12:

Ashley POV:

"YOU DON'T LOVE HIM! YOU LIAR!"

"GO DIE YOU WHORE!"

Fans were screaming and yelling at me angrily. I even got my hair practically yanked and my shirt and jacket pulled and almost torn apart, I even got my favourite beanie snatched of my head. I had a couple of scratches on my hands and another one across my cheek. Tears were already flooding down my eyes and cheeks, I could have practically made a waterfall with all the tears that I was crying.

"YOU'RE PARENTS DESERVED TO DIE, YOU SELF-CENTERED LYING BITCH!" a fan screamed right in my ear.

A burst out crying and my personal body guard, carefully picked me up and carried me towards the building.

I didn't deserve this. I don't want this! I never did! They forced me into all of this! It's not fair!

I woke up with a sudden jolt and my back ached miserably. I winced and rubbed my head.

It was just a dream, I thought and noticed that I had been crying. I wiped away my tears and finally looked around.

I wasn't at the beach anymore. I was in my bedroom. In my house. The house I shared with Harry.

But ... how?

I rubbed my forehead and took the cover off my legs, pushed myself off the bed and stood up. The moment I did, my head spun and I felt dizzy. I quickly closed my eyes and when my head stopped spinning, I opened them again.

I blinked multiple times, just to be sure this wasn't a dream too. I looked up at the clock hung on the wall in my room and checked the time.

3am.

My eyes widened and I checked the digital date, beneath the clock. 19th December 2013. Louis, Harry, Eleanor and I went to the rink yesterday. I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to remember what happened after I went to the beach and slept on the sand.

Nothing. Blank.

I let out an irritated sigh and walked towards the door. The corridor was dark but I could see a faint light coming from beneath Harry's bedroom door. I silently walked towards his room, careful not to make any sound. I pressed my ear against the door, to see if he was awake or not. Harry usually ended up leaving the lampshade while falling asleep.

The TV was on.

He never slept with it on, he hated sleeping with it on and when he was still watching TV this late it either meant he was over thinking or couldn't sleep.

I took several deep breaths before I pushed down the handle and slightly pushed open the door. The first thing you see when you enter this bedroom is the bed, so it wasn't that easy to hide from him.

He was laying down on his bed, not bothering to take off his jeans but his shirt only which left him shirtless. He wasn't even beneath the covers, just lying on top of them. His head snapped in my direction, looking alert.

He had bags beneath his eyes, his eyes looked tired and ready to close, his lips were cracked and his hair wasn't in it's famous, gorgeous style.

He looked broken.

A lump formed in my throat and I felt guilty.

This is all because of you!

Tears welled up in my eyes but I tried to not cry but I failed. They travelled down my cheeks and I quickly wiped them away. He faintly smiled and patted the empty space next to him. I slowly walked towards the other side of the bed, climbed on the bed and sat down but he draped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. I automatically wrapped my arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. He kissed the top of my head and rested his chin on top of my head while I rested my head on his chest, feeling his chest rise and fall and his heartbeat beating to a normal pace, unlike mine which was probably close to a heart attack.

We stared at the TV plasma screen, a movie was playing on one of the stations but I wasn't really taking any notice of it. Harry's heartbeat was occupying my hearing, I closed my eyes and smiled slightly.

He started playing with my loose hair, he breathed out softly, his grip on my waist tightened a bit and I cuddled a bit more tightly.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, barely heared over the sound coming from the TV.

He shifted his head slightly but placed it back where it was. He sighed heavily and pulled back and looked straight into my eyes. 

"Why did you leave?" he asked, his husky voice sounding deeper due to him being tired.

"I don't fit in the picture," I whispered and looked away from him.

He placed a finger beneath my chin and lifted my head up, he kissed my lips briefly and rested his forehead on mine. "How so?"

I slightly smiled and rolled my eyes. "I don't know, it just doesn't feel right."

"What doesn't feel right?" he mumbled.

"This is all started as something being forced on us, Harry," I said and pulled my head away from his. "Of course it doesn't feel right."

He sighed out heavily. "Is it forced anymore?"

I looked up and met his gaze. I knew that for him it all started forced but after a few weeks it started as something more but for me, it started as hell, then after a few weeks something forced and then it sort of started as something more but I'm just confused if I really want to be with him or if I just want to test him out and then just dump him. 

That used to happen to me loads of times back when I was younger and I just felt so bad to tell them to stop. I knew for sure that I didn't want to hurt him and that confused me even more.

"No," I finally replied back.

He smiled. "Good."

I slightly chuckled and rolled my eyes. "By the way," he said and I looked back up and met his angry look. My eyes widened and my heart rate quickened.

"I remember."

My eyebrows furrowed, confused. "Remember what?"

He reached out for my hand, pulled up my sleeve and turned round my wrist to reveal the old scars that I did a few years ago ... and months.

I frowned and he looked at me angrily.

"Why did you do this to yourself!?" he asked me, his tone sounding angry but his eyes looked soft and calm.

"I-It's complicated," I whispered. And it was complicated.

I wasn't in the mood to stay explaining to him the past 17 years of my life, so I didn't. 

I pushed him away and got off the bed and walked towards the door quickly but his hand grasped my wrist tightly. He turned me around and I landed on the bed, with him on top of me supporting his weight with one of his hands while the other one was pressed tightly at my back. I was breathing heavily and so was he.

He smirked while my eyes slightly grew a bit wide but still managed to slightly smile. 

I knew what was on his mind and I knew he wanted it. 

But the question was if I did want it.