Cirque Du Academy

It Wasn't Your Fault

Nathan's POV

I didn't mean to get mad at her again, i honestly did regret what i did to her but she just got me so riled up.

And she had a mean left hook!

My jaw was still in agony but it was my ego suffering the worse blow as i continued to hang in the air upside down watching the little performer who put me in this situation place her hand's on her waist as she raised her eyebrow slightly as thought to say 'well i'm waiting'.

It had been a few minutes since i spoke saying simply 'my parents' and i was trying to pick up the courage to tell her what she wanted to know.

Yes, i said courage.

Because the past, it scared me as much as it made me angry, i had yet to speak about the things in my past before my brother's came into my life, they never pushed me to talk about it so i didn't.

Instead i turned that fear into more anger and i turned my anger to fighting and it worked, well it worked as in it made me needed in our team, they wouldn't abandon me because i had skills and that was all i cared about so it was easy to let the anger consume me whenever i fought, but i had never snapped like i had with Sang, i didn't even realise my fuse was so short until now.

Did my brother's know?

I wanted to say i didn't know what the fuck happened,why i reacted the way i did but truth was no matter how much i tried to bury it deep inside, i knew why.

It's her fault.

No, not Sang, my mother.

My mother didn't care about me she had admitted before that i was simply a means to trap my well off father, she had me simply for money. My mother was never around and when she was around she always had other companions, she didn't even care that her child as young as three would be pushed into the corner made to stand watching the wall as she fucked every Tom Dick and Harry showing no loyalty to my father, everyone she brought back she gained something from, money,jewellery,bags,clothes, it was all she cared about, i had hoped for so long that there was something deep down within her that cared for me but that hope was soon torn to shreds.

I was seven when my father found out about his ever so loyal wife, he had came home early to find me crying in the corner, my shirt torn in half as a fully naked male tried approaching me while my mother lay on the couch still naked from fucking the man as she counted the dollar notes in her hand. 

I saw the rage erupt from my father and at first i thought i was finally going to be saved from a parent that cared about me, i had realised that my mother would never give a shit about me when she accepted money off that man so he could 'have some fun', so seeing my father witness what she was going to allow happen to me, he would save me.

He attacked the male beating him so badly i feared he was dead he then went for my mother, she cried crocodile tears saying she was sorry, asking him not to hurt him and despite what she had done to me i worried about she would get hurt but then my father asked her a question.

''Why?'' 

My father yelled his hands still clenched in fists as he looked down at his naked wife.

''You are never here!''

My mother yelled back accusingly.

''You left me with that fucking boy over there! never caring to call half the time while your'e gone for weeks at an end! i wanted to feel loved, feel beautiful, like the way you used to before that brat was born!''