Sander sides x reader -OneShots-

Remus x reader

Remus x reader

Trigger warning: Depressive thoughts.

I hadn't moved out of my bed since the night before. Nothing mattered. Nothing felt worth it that day. Every minute felt like a day and every day lasted for ever. The small bit of sunlight that shined through my blinds was blinding and yet I couldn't fine the energy to close them more.

I felt worthless and numb. I wanted to feel something, anything, so badly but nothings worked.

I was so caught up in my own misery that I didn't hear my front door open or footsteps walk down the hallway to my room.

I heard three knocks and remus walked in with a frown on his face. He walked over and knelt down beside the bed so we were face to face.

"Hi love." Remus started. Just the sound of his voice made me tear up a bit. "I know it's a tough day but can you just try to get out of bed? I know it's hard but I'll be so proud of you if you do!" He encouraged a small smile on his face. I nodded and started to sit up.

"Well done babe. I'm proud of you." Remus beamed. "Now shall we get something to eat and clean you up a bit?" All I did was nod although I didn't really care what the plan was, I'd go along with it.

I sat down in front of Remus. The grey couches matched my mood and, as I looked at him, I realised he was the most important thing to me.

"What's going on?" He asked softly

The simple question made my stomach twist and turn, and I wanted to vomit. I clenched my hand into a fist, my short nails digging into my palm. I couldn't do this. My heart rate increased and I felt my eyes tear up. I decided to look down at my lap. It was so much more intresting.

I stared at the rug and noticed each stitch trying to ground myself to any small thing that I could get my mind on. The rug had a few loose threads and stains, similar to me really. A bit damaged and ruined but for some unknown reason, people kept me around.

I closed my eyes again, trying to focus on my breathing. I felt a hand touch my own. Remus' fingers brushed over my knuckles and forced me to open my hands. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"I promise, whatever this is, we'll get over it." Remus brought my hands up to his mouth and planted a small kiss on my fingers. I felt my heart explode with love. I didn't know if I'd ever get over it but Remus was with me, every step of the way.

"I don't know if I'll ever get better." I whispered and, after that small confession, more came out. "And this depression is slowly taking over my life, I can't talk to people anymore.  And it's not fair on you because I take it out on you and you have to deal with my stupid habits and-" he quickly shushed my ramblings and leaned foreward and gave me a kiss. am okay with helping you on your bad days, I promise. I am okay with dealing with your habits. I'm okay with knowing what you have." Remus looked sincere as he spoke. "When we first met, I knew I would dedicate everything to you. You are one of the most important things in my life. I promised you that'd I'd be there through sickness and in health. It's going to be slow but you will get better."

I didn't realise I was crying until Remus' hand reached my cheek and brushed away a few tears. He kept his hand on my cheek and leaned foreward so our foreheads were resting against each other. I felt a small bit of peace in me.

"Can you promise me you'll try and get better? I don't want to keep watching you destroy yourself." Remus asked softly as if I'd shatter like glass. "I promise" my meek voice whispered back, I wanted to get better for him and for myself. It was going to be tough, I knew it, nevertheless I was going to try. For him. The most important thing in my life.