Take My Hand

29 You Treat Me Like A Dog

"But..." I protested as I slid down the side of the couch to sit in a heap on the carpet.

"No buts Lukas. If I do not punish you, then you will not learn what is acceptable behaviour." He growled as he ignored me and watched the television.

"Dogs do sit on the couch." I mumbled in frustration. He gave me a look that spoke a little of derision.

"Bad dogs don't. You have been disobedient, and you stink from running around all evening." He raised a brow at me and I dropped my head to stare at the floor. I sighed. I had hoped that just cleaning up quickly would be good enough to put me back in his good graces.

We sat in silence as I thought about his words from earlier. He said he didn't just want the place spotless, he needed it. Thinking about the way he worked and his routines, maybe he had OCD or something? I guess I could kind of understand that.

It was originally his space. I had invited myself into it when I left my home and followed him here. He didn't have to have me stay. He could have said I was on my own and left me to figure it out. He didn't. He took me in and just set me some rules for living here. Rules I broke.

"I really am sorry Sasha Sir." I said painfully choked up. I didn't want him to kick me out. I didn't mean to upset him. I really did plan to clean everything up earlier. I felt his hand on my head, gently threading his fingers in my hair and felt the sob strangle out of my throat.

"I know you are Lukas. Just bear with your punishment like a good boy. Come here." He pulled my hair with his fingers to set my head on his thigh and stroked my head softly as I wept on it.

I let the tears fall onto his warm flannel pajama pants and sniffled until they subsided. Then I left my head there on his leg with my eyes closed, enjoying being petted. I was desperate for his warmth. I needed his touch. However I could get it was fine with me.

"Come on Lukas, time for bed." His deep voice roused me out of the almost trance-like state I had fallen into with his petting.

"Yes Sir." I yawned and got up to follow him as he shut off the lights and climbed the stairs. When we reached the bedroom, I frowned at the sight of a sleeping bag and roll away mat on the floor at the end of the bed.

He climbed into the wide expanse of comfort as I dropped on the unzipped makeshift bed. A feeling in my gut made me a little sick to my stomach. I hadn't slept anywhere but in his arms at night. Actually I was pretty sure I had never slept anywhere but on a bed before.

This was not going to be fun. Even when I went away to camp they had cabins with rooms and beds inside. I didn't do the outdoors, and I definitely didn't do sleeping on the ground.

I climbed inside the bag and laid out on the mat. It was thin and had little cushion. The comfortable wrap was at least warm and soft. When I shifted slightly though, it made a little shuffling noise. I tried to lay still on my back as I stared at the ceiling.

"Goodnight Lukas." The words floated through the dark room as the side lamp clicked off. I wasn't used to not having him press against me so I could hear his breathing slow.

"Goodnight Sir." I whispered, alone in the dark.

Maybe if there had been a clock ticking then I could have been lulled to sleep. Or if he had continued to stroke my head then I might have drifted back to slumbering. There was nothing but darkness and silence.

Nothing but my mind thinking over my stupidity at falling asleep on the couch instead of just doing what I needed to get done. If only I had gotten up and cleaned for an hour or so, then I'd be a few feet away wrapped in his arms.