The Man in the Woods

Chapter 8

Kelly's POV:
I search his face for something... anything.. all he does it stare. "Please...say something" I can feel the tears.. he doesn't love me.. I'm so stupid. He suddenly grabs my face and kisses me with every bit of passion he can. I kiss him back with so much more. I can't read him... does he love me to? Oh fuck it idc at this very moment, all I can think about is having him inside of me. He picks me up and carries me to his bed, he lightly lays me down and undoes my pants. He frees himself from his and I can feel him enter me. He thrusts into me with so much power, it feels like it's going to be the last time.

"Rowland..oh god" I moan out, he plants a soft kiss on my lips while continuously thrusting into me, he pulls away to catch his breath, he puts his lips to my ear and whispers I love you, he thrusts one more time and I crumble, I completely let go and feel my release, shortly after, he finishes.

After we finish he pulls me into his body, it's still pretty early in the morning so we both fall asleep together, entwined in each other, the way it should be.

2 hours later...

I wake up suddenly in my own bed, did he carry me back over? How did I get here, I didn't even feel him move me. I jump up and start searching for him throughout my cabin. I find a note on my dining table, I star to read.

Kelly.. I can't do this to you... I won't put you through my mood swings, my ptsd, or my pain, I have grown to love you so quickly, something I never thought I would find, something I know I don't deserve. Please forgive me, I have left, I have another property somewhere, I just need to be alone. I'm not meant for love, or a family, you deserve someone who isn't as fucked up as I am. Writing this note is killing me, losing you is killing me, but I won't bring you down with me. I need to tell you what happened.. I need to tell you why I'm so messed up, I know saying it in a letter is cowardly, but it's the only way.
8 years ago I was stationed in Afghanistan, me and a bunch of my men went on a raid, quickly the raid went south. We had calculated everything so well, we had a plan, we knew what we were going to do, but apparently they were one step ahead. They planted a bomb in one of the rooms... there were woman and children everywhere... there own people... as we walked in they set off the bomb, it was my fault, I should've known better but I had gotten distracted by a child. They said they needed my help, they were in danger, I lead my men into that room, I took the bait. I lost 5 good men that day, I don't know how I survived, I made it out just missing a leg. I don't deserve to be here, yet I am. I have constant nightmares, more than just about the bomb, about all of the blood shed, I was on the front lines, right in the action, but I made it. After I lost my leg in the explosion I was discharged, I tried therapy, it it didn't work. Being around you was helping me, I had less nightmares. They were constant before you, every single night, but then you came into my life and I started to dream of you... I wish I could be with you, but I will never be normal.. I really do love you Kelly
-Rowland

I dropped the letter on the floor and started sobbing, I ran from the house through the patch in the woods to Rowland's, I ran in and looked around everywhere, most of his clothing and essentials were gone, I ran through slamming doors, trying to find something, anything that might tell me where he was, but there was nothing, I fell to the ground by his bed and just started sobbing uncontrollably, this pain was worse then when I caught Joseph cheating on me, I was truly broken.