Sundered by Time (Manila Series #1)

Chapter 11

"Yes sir?"

"Can I have a mussel linguine please? Also a slice of margherita pizza." Levi gave back the menu and put his elbows on the table while looking intently into my eyes.

I suddenly became motionless. Wala na naman siyang pasok o break niya?

I stared at the man who's probably supposed to be in his class. Hindi ko naman alam ang schedule niya at personal na buhay, why would I bother to think of it?

"Lura, magpalit ka kaya ng sapatos mo?"

Binalingan ko ang kaibigan na nagsalita. Levi looked at him, with an indescribable stare. Pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili at kumportable naman sa suot.

"I'm fine, Lil boy," bulong ko dito bago tignan ang customer. "Right away, sir."

I walked away from Levi, pinaabot ko kay Khalil ang listahan at pinuntahan ang ibang customer. I should treat him like one but it's bothering me.. something about him makes me think why we keep on seeing each other! He's just an acquaintance and he should stay that way. It's bothering me on how he makes me feel comfortable and safe in this cruel society where men are commonly mistaken as the predators.

I deeply sighed. How can I forget that I was one of those predators even though I'm not a man?

Natulala ako kaya naman nagulat ako dahil biglang may tumugtog na classical song. Well, that made the atmosphere more dinkum and comely. It made me calm down for a second and stop thinking about that damn law student whom I shouldn't be thinking whatever the situation is. I'll just make his life miserable.

I was preparing the meals to be served when Khalil stood beside me. "Kamusta na 'yung clinic niyo?"

Hindi ko inaasahan iyon. Ngayon lang siya nangamusta dito, siguro dahil iyon din ang pinagkakaabalahan ko nitong mga nakaraang buwan. Sila Mama na ang bahala dahil tatlo na ang responsibilidad ko sa buhay ngayong tinanggap ko ang offer.

"It's doing good as of the moment." I uttered without proper thoughts regarding the issue.

"Live for the moment," he uttered more seriously and softly.

Could I? How could I live not thinking about the past and future that scares me? That scratches my back and makes me scream in fear at times? Ano mang oras ako mabuhay, ngayon man o bukas, natatakot ako sa paraan ng pagtakbo ng oras. Hindi mo namamalayan at hindi mo ito napapansin.

"I wasn't raised that way, Khalil." I sighed and looked at him.

No, I didn't grow that way. I was raised in a family that supported me and didn't pressure me at all, but in some aspects of my life, I raised myself thinking that I should always be aware of my responsibilities and live independently.

I know that they are affected by the way I act but I can't just sit and chill. Hindi ako sanay. Ayoko. There's something off with how the hospital functions at the moment that's why I did something with it. Hindi ako mapapanatag hangga't hindi pa naipapatupad ng board ang gusto kong mangyari.

"Did you borrow some books from Zara?" he asked, hesitating to listen to my response and even ask something.

I stopped studying her topics, I stopped buying books that are related to it. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't for me in the first place. My mind is so messed up right now.

Halos kakasabi ko lang sa sarili na hindi ako titigil sa pag-aaral ng Pol Sci kahit na hindi ko iyon kurso ngunit sa mga nangyayari ngayon sa hospital, unti-unting nagbabago ang isip ko. I don't know if namana ko kay Mama ang pagiging magulo kausap o talagang hindi ako nakakapagpahinga kaya ganito ako ngayon.