"Pinagbigyan ko na siya! Ilang beses na ba anak? Ilang beses nang inulit 'yan ng ama mo?" Daddy lost his balance and did nothing but to sit on the floor, maybe reflecting on what he did.
I don't know anything. I'm clueless!
"Isang beses na lang, Rey. Ulitin mo pa, hindi mo na mababago ang isip ko." Since Mama is assisting Mommy, I helped Daddy stood up and sit on the sofa.
At 15, they think that I won't be able to conclude anything about the situation. Hindi ko alam, they might think of me as a stupid child or maybe they just want me out of it. Naririnig ko ang sigawan nila pero sinasabi nila na walang problema.
I gave both of my grandparents a glass of water. They immediately told me to go to the other house, the ancestral type, and I did. I walked past the pool, to the middle of a one and half acre of farm that Mommy and Tito Ramon took care of, followed the bright street lights and the pathwalk before I stopped in front of a house with a traditional exterior and modern interior.
Ang buong lupa kasama ang dalawang bahay ay kalahating ektarya. I opened the main door of the smaller house and just looked from afar, hoping for me to hear them, but Ate Valentina who's wearing PJ's appeared out of nowhere. She just got from Manila, I know she's tired.
"Mag pahinga ka na muna, Lura. Bilin ng Mama mo na bantayan kayo hanggang sa makatulog." I went upstairs, opened the door of the modern bedroom where my cousins are waiting for me and laid on the bed to stare at the ceiling.
"Ate, pwede bang dito ka muna? Tabi tayo dito," I said to Ate Naha between my sobs. She laid beside me and stared at the ceiling as well.
Jacob just looked at me while he's sitting at the corner of the bed but didn't bother to ask anything. He's just observing us. Nate is on his phone and Ate Valentina is on the swivel chair. The door opened and Kuya James went inside.
"What's happening?" I asked.
"Wala 'yon. Hindi ko rin alam," he answered and that's when Nate stormed out of the room, he's not playing games anymore.
Ryder, I want to talk to him.
I went to the balcony, overlooking the pool and trees. I tried to call my cousin and when he answered, I sat on the hanging chair.
"Kuya Ry..." Shit!
Tears started rolling down, once again. I shifted my gaze away from the camera and stood up. I hate being clueless! I hate feeling this stupid that I can't even ask them what the problem is. I hate being like this.
I was about to wear my airpods when I heard a loud voice from the other house. I don't even know how I managed to hear it. I ran so fast but stopped midway when my mother saw where I was heading. With Ate Val behind me, Mama called her.
"Don't let her enter, Tina."
"Mama, bakit? Ano bang nangyari?" I frustratedly asked.
She walked towards me and held my chin up. "Listen, Isabel. We will deal with it. I'll tell you what it is someday. Can you do me a favor, anak?"
I didn't nod nor shook my head in disapproval. When they ask me something, I will do it. It's only them who can tame me down, my family.
"I promise that I'll share it with you, but not now. Can you act like there's nothing that ever changed? And we will do the same."
They knew but they stayed quiet.
I know everything and I did the same. I will continue to do so, knowing what the truth really is.
Nakatulog ako sa traditional house matapos alalalahanin ang nakaraan. Gamit ko ang isang kwarto at ang mga pinsan na lalaki ay sa kabila. Naka lock at pinto at nagising ako sa katok na akala ko ay sisira sa pinto. Sinilip ko muna ang bintana, tinignan kung maliwanag na ba sa labas bago binuksan ang pinto.
BINABASA MO ANG
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