untitled story

Confusions of a kid without a therapist

I don't know
How to apologize for something without hurting anybody
How to say and really mean it, from the bottom of my heart
And the only times I've ever been sure of and meant from the bottom of my heart is how confused I am
How unsure of myself and everything around me I am. I genuinely don't know anything about anything, and it scares me to death that if I don't die in some way I'm going to have to make choices I'm not sure of, and it seems like everyone else knows where they're going but I never know. I don't know what to do, how to say things I really mean, who to turn to;
Apparently teenagers are the most confused in life, so everyone feels like this and I'm not alone in it
Or so they say but we are alone. We can't really be 100% empathetic to someone. We can understand what they're saying but we can't feel what they say, like people say to, or feel what they feel and we just have to guess and go with it.
Maybe the reason I'm so confused is because others seem so sure of themselves, even though there's always a possibility they're wrong.
Like how adults in America seem so sure that the land is theirs they don't see how they're wrong
Like how soldiers in Yemen are so sure that they're right, they go around killing people and don't stop, as if it's not wrong
Like how a cop will arrest anyone and find an reason for it because theres has to be some justification to what they do to make it right, and according to justice they're always right

And like how the systems that allow this to happen make it all seem like it's right, even when a majority of us in the underground feel like it's wrong
The confusion starts when you realise others have a different perspective on life
I couldn't stop thinking about that since I was 7;
I haven't stopped thinking about that and I'm 16
There were things I wanted to do and was almost certain I would and never did
And there were so many analogies I'd heard over the years about what life is like, so many metaphors that I questioned and so many I ignored and so many I disagreed with and so many I never heard
I don't think anyone is ever sure of anything, and I don't think we can ever be.
I like that conclusion, but it bothers me that people say they know it
That people seem to agree but turn around and never question their views, even less so when they're older.
I want things to change, in my own life and the lives of people around me and beyond that even
But I don't know if it can. I don't know if it will
And I don't think it can until the people who once knew curiosity review their own. Reflect it back on themselves.
I don't know
How to apologize to somebody without hurting anybody
How to say things in a way where I really mean it, from the bottom of my heart
Unless I'm talking about my own confusions
And I'm sure there's a lot of others like me. I'm sure those people want change.