Dancing Through The Night

Alannah - 32

My birthday came and went. Tessa and her family took me out for lunch and Nick went out to dinner with me. Not a single text from Cohen though. All week. He didn't even say hello to me at the concert. I saw him after my performance, and I know that he saw me too. He would have heard me play and didn't say a word. He probably also heard Nick announce my birthday. He must have enough of my neediness. The day before the concert he had a party at his house. A party I interrupted. At the concert he was with a young woman. I saw their perfectly paired group of two males and two females. I'm not jealous. He's meant to go out and have a good time. He's single, attractive, smart and fun. I just thought we were friends, and it stings.

Today, I'm going to visit my parents. They have a small belated birthday party planned for me with all my aunts and uncle's, my cousins and other family and friends from my childhood. I haven't decided yet how long I'll stay but I promised my mum that it would be a week at a minimum. I miss having them around. I miss human contact.

I end up staying over six weeks. My mum is a great help and after I decide to let her do her thing with Josie, I turn more and more back into myself. My dad is working a lot, but loves his special moments with his granddaughter. These past weeks I've had a lot of time to work on my business and I have just landed a small contract. It's a start. Babysteps.
Next week Tessa will come out with her kids for a few days. They're on school holidays, while Eric has to work and will stay home. We'll then leave together and go for an additional four days to my parents holiday house, two hours up the coast. Life is good and raising Josie seems to be easier. I can do this single parent thing. Josie has settled more or less on a sleep schedule and most nights sleeps six hours straight. She's so much more alert now and even sits up for a while. Maybe being on solids helps too.

Refreshed and ready to tackle my life as a single self-employed mum we return home. Tomorrow, I have a meeting scheduled with my first client. Feeling well prepared I check the outfit I chose to wear, my favorite black work dress from my pre-pregnancy days, overjoyed that it finally fits again. I ensure my paperwork is in order and double- check with Tessa that she's good to look after Josie. She'll love seeing Tessa's kid's again. This past week I realised how much she enjoys being around other children. I check that my angel is still sound asleep before relaxing in the bathtub by candlelight and with classical music in the background.

I nailed the meeting with my client and already have another enquiry. Tonight, I'll celebrate with Tessa. Laura will join us a bit later, after her after-work drinks. I guess I'm not quite at that level yet, but that doesn't mean I won't get there.
Another week and my parents will visit me, something to look forward to. Bit by bit my life seems to fall into place.