Dancing Through The Night

Chapter 27 - Cohen

I just hope she doesn't think I only take Josie for a walk because I pity her. Or worse, that I'm trying to sleaze my way into her life. Truth be told, I enjoy being around them. I like helping Alannah and it just feels natural spending time with Josie so she can relax a bit. It's not like I'm going out of my way. Winston needs to go for a walk, so I may as well take Josie along.
For the past week I have taken Josie every evening, apart from Tuesday when I was on nightshift. I had planned on surprising Alannah and came by after my shift in the morning, but she wasn't home. I guess I should have told her I was coming by but I didn't want her to count on it, in case I didn't make it. And it's not a routine, really. Today, Jay is staying the night so Vicky can go out with her work colleagues. I haven't told Alannah yet that I won't be able to take Josie. I shouldn't feel guilty about it but I do. It has become a routine after all, I guess. At least it feels like it to me. She won't say anything, but her mood seems to be up since she's getting sleep and alone time.

Jay usually comes with me when taking Winston for a walk, it just seems strange taking him with me when picking up Josie. I contemplate whether I should text Alannah or just not show. All the other times I just told her the evening before whether I was coming the next day or not. Guilt stricken, I send her a brief text.

Sorry, won't be able to come by today. Working the following two days. I'll see you next week.

It sounds lame, cancelling three nights in one text. Really lame. It's the truth though. I'll be busy. Putting the phone back on the coffee table, I try to push my guilt aside and get ready for a surf.

Catching some waves has cleared my head. The guilt only comes back when I read Alannah's reply.

No problem. Make sure Santa leaves presents for all the good boys. 😋 I'll see you around!

She doesn't seem to be upset. That's good. Maybe I'm just thinking I'm helping her. Gosh. I'm pathetic. Luckily Brendan, my Lifesaver co-volunteer, passes by my house, a welcome distraction. He's on the way to his shift while I'm painting over the patch on my fence some idiot must have damaged yesterday. Probably scraped a beerbottle along. I could check the security camera but can't be bothered. "I'm on shift with Rodey. You around tonight for some drinks?" If Rodey is coming, Luke will too. I don't feel up for it but I know I should. My social life is next to zero. "Yeah, absolutely. Jay will be here. You guys just come by when you're ready. If Luke is coming though, tell him that Jay's here. No girls."

It's become a party. Of course it has. Jay has a friend over. They've disappeared into Jay's room and probably won't be seen until breakfast tomorrow morning. Brendan, Rodey and Luke are hanging out on the deck. I'm getting new beers for everyone, while the boys loudly talk about their day. Winston lays under the table, seemingly oblivious to the noise.

"So, what's happening with you and that landscape chick?" Luke shouts over the table as he takes the beers from me and hands them to the others. I have no idea how he knows about Loula. I certainly haven't told him and I doubt that my non-existing lovelife is interesting enough to be discussed on duty.
"Nothing is happening." I hope he can hear by my tone that I'm annoyed and don't want to talk about it. Maybe I shouldn't be so defensive. A bit cooler I add: "I'm probably not going ahead with the project."
He doesn't get it. "Oh, come on. She's hot. I've seen her here when I left my shift last week. You're not fooling anyone."

No, I'm not fooling anyone. Literally. Without answering I go inside, grab some chips and juice and take them to Jay's room. The two boys are on the playstation. Apart from a mumbled thanks I get no attention, so I leave. Back into the lion's cage. On the way through the kitchen I grab another pack of chips and take them outside with me. Lukily, Rodey's lovelife now seems to be under the magnifying glass. When will they outgrow this shit. It's always about the next chick. It's getting boring. Taking my beer from the table I move away from the others and stare accross the beach, over the ocean. Alannah! She's sitting not even 30 metres or so away from my house on a blanket. Her friend is with her s well as their two little ones. Her friend had at least one more child from memory but this is definitely the younger one. Guilt washes over me again and the hope that she doesn't figure out that I live here, that I'm home having people over. Deep down I know that I have every right to do what I'm doing. This guilt thing is absolutely foreign to me. I don't like it. I turn my back to the beach, to Alannah. She's facing the waterfront and chances are she doesn't know where I live and won't find out either.