Dave's Red Eyes

Buying a Tux

You're Dave Strider, and you're proudly cleaning off the knife John gave you. You chiefly use swords, knives and daggers aren't really your thing, but how could you not love this weapon? It's edges are so sharp and ragged, the handle decorated like a katanas, the red and silver color that it's wrapped in is so awesome and completely worth your Strider hands.

Once you finish cleaning off any defilement, you sheath it in its holder until you can find something to hold it on the wall.

Your bro comes in, yawning as if he's been asleep for a while. "Yo, lil' shit. I need to run an errand. You coming with?"

"It's a few days after Christmas, Dirk, don't you think it's a bit crowded?" You scold.

He shrugs. "Probably not. I'd think that most people are still with their family. If not, then they're sleeping in or heading home from vacation."

Although you still feel like where ever you go will be crawling with people, you sigh. "Sure, why not?"

You and Dirk get in the car as he takes off at Godspeed down the road. "Where are we headed, anyway?" You question him.

"You'll see. Just relax." He tells you, seeming as confident as ever. You don't like his secretiveness, but you feel as if you have no other choice but to go along with it.

Surprisingly, the roads are clear of traffic as you head to where ever the hell it is you're going. Dirk is able to drive more quickly than usual as he races down the streets.

Finally, you pull up into a parking lot and he parks as close as he can to the entrance to a store called, "Groom and Bridal Emporium." Your mouth gaps and your stomach turns as you see this.You face him, speechless, as a smirk snugly rests above his chin.

"Well, lil' shit, I need some help picking out what tux I'm going to wear for my wedding." Bro opens the door, beginning his climb out of the car.

You've become more used to the idea of Dirk and Jake being engaged. It's not like you're homophobic (it's not like you're straight, yourself), or that you didn't know your brother swung that way, but merely the sudden surprise of him being engaged.

You step out of the car, too, and enter the store. On one side was a field of white wedding dresses, while the other side was a shadow of tuxedos.

You go through rack after rack of tuxes, your brother turning down each one. You kind of just sit to the side, puffing.

"Come on, can't  guy get some help around here?" Dirk looked at you, his orange eyes showing as his glasses slid down his nose some.

"They all look the same to me." You rolled your eyes.

Dirk kind of just stared at you. "But they're not! There's so many different sizes and styles! What if I choose the wrong one? What if Jake's is too wonderful? What if mine's too awesome? I don't..." You stop listening and wait for him to stop rambling. It's not like him to ramble. That's your thing.

Once he's done, you bring your words to the conversation. "Bro, snap out of it. Relax a little, man, you're too tense. Anyway, didn't I just say that they all look the same? There's no way in hell that yours can be too awesome for his."

Dirks shoulders slouched a little, as if he took a breath and gave in. "I guess you're right. Thanks, lil' man." He rubbed his fingers through your hair and you cast him a glare.

After a while of Dirk looking through tuxes, trying them on, then rummaging through the ties, you're finally able to leave with one out of characterly nervous, Dirk.

Your phone buzzed after riding in the car for a few minutes. Hoping it was from John, Rose, Jade, or Karkat even, you opened your phone to see, "From: Jake. Hey, old chap, how is it going on this fine day? I was wondering if you could possibly help me pick out what tuxedo I should wear for the wedding of me and your brother?"

You flip your head back, so the very top of it touches the car seat. More tux shopping. Great. Exactly what you wanted.

You reply, "sure when?"

Within thirty seconds he responds, "I was hoping you could maybe help me out tonight, if it isn't a bother?"

A groan leeks out from your mouth. You want to be an asshole. You really want to be an asshole and not help. Tux shopping is the most boring thing you've ever done in your life. You know, besides school. You take a swallow of air and reply, "sure."

You can hear your brothers betrothed voice in your head as you read, "Great! Thank you, kind friend, I will see you around seven!"

He's such a dork, but you must admit you are fond of him. Months ago, when Dirk stopped mentioning Jake, you were curious as to where he went. Apparently, he never left.

You get home with your brother and you make a point to eat. You tell your bro that you and John have something to do for a few hours starting at seven, and that Johns dad will pick you up. Dirk sips on his orange soda and nods.

You heat up a frozen pizza and quickly devour it before waiting outside of your apartment for English.

He comes, almost on time. You climb into the car with him, and head out. You and him conjure up a pleasant conversation while you drive. It's nice and refreshing to talk to him again, especially since it's been a while.

Somehow, you find yourself standing in the same parking lot looking up at the same sign. You let an internal groan happen as you once again walk through the doors. The employees seem to gaze at you for seeing you a second time with another older man, and you just nod your head as if to say, "Sup."

You're unpleasently finding yourself going through the same racks as earlier, but you mostly follow Jake around. He finds his size, looks around, and sighs. "Dave, do you believe your brother would like this one?"

You look it up and down. You still don't see much of a difference from any other tux. "Maybe. Try it on."

Jake nods his head. "Right." He half says to himself as he hurriedly fast-walks to the changing room.

He comes out, looking nervous and shaking. "Is-is this fine?" He asks.

You glance it over. "It's a little tight, but knowing Dirk, he will just find it sexy. Is it comfortable?"

He paces around for a second with quick strides. "It seems to work pretty well. It's not scratchy or bunched up, if that's what you mean?"

You put your thumbs up. "Good." You feel relief as Jake smiles and he goes into the changing room to take it off.

You spend about ten minutes or so picking out a tie. You eventually come across a green one that fits his taste.

You head out of there sooner than expected. Jake seemed to know a little more of what he wanted than Dirk. Well, at least he knew how to shop. Dirk accidentally wondered into the extra larges at one point.

Jake returns you home, thanking you over and over again, his eyes brimming with happiness.

After watching him and your brother, you smile your tiny grin, happy they have each other. Happy that they have someone to be with and stress over being perfect with. If only you could have that, but sadly you know you're a homosexual and your crush has made a point to be straight. Damn that heterosexuality, claiming your John for its girls.