Okay, so I tell them all about the whole vision/seizure/dream thing I had. The general consensus is that the witches wanted to send us a warning. Tell us as to what would happen if we, you know, cross their path and whatnot.
They listen patiently. There’s only one hiccup in between, when Bee says it’s impossible for someone to pass out by holding their breath, let alone die. I give her a look that says “Really? We’re after witches in Lakoswa-boggle-gobble-whatchamallik and that’s what bugs you?”
Pretty sure I left her stumped. Come now, hold your applause, I’m no genius. I’m sure if you were in my place, you’d have done the same.
Right?
After I’m done telling them, ominous remarks are made. Scary prospects are discussed. I am starting to think if they might be having second thoughts.
Then all my doubts skid away as Aar asks the only question he deems is worth asking after hearing of my encounter with the Grahi witch: 'Was she really that hot?’
I tell him that yes, indeed she was. And now I’m more worried about Aar swooning over that evil woman than I am of her killing us all in cold blood.
Just kidding, just kidding. Not many are fortunate enough to have such people in their lives.
Then again, not many are Marra.
In the end, we agree that going ahead with our plan is what we ought to do. Everyone’s life is on the line, and they are all for it.
Es, surprisingly, is acting quiet and somber. Well, more so than usual, anyway. Additionally, See can’t stop licking my face. Probably thinks I’m dogfood. If dogfood smells like sweat, then he isn’t half wrong.
We’re making good time. We’ve passed pastures and field with glowing, purple flowers that retract into the ground if you touch them and a brook with fishes that are basically mini-dolphins. I think I even saw another one of those UFOs from the trees by the dirty lake. Whatever.
In a nutshell – if a nut’s shell can accommodate all of this – we see some weird stuff. Very times hundred weird.
Not anything we’re not accustomed to. I guess you must be pretty used to this, too, by now.
I mean, let’s do a recap. So far, you’ve met a guy who can’t seem to die no matter what. Who has a spirit for a best friend. (They're not ghosts, Aar! You literally spent the whole flight with Es, how can you possibly not know?) Who was born dead and loves blood. Who gets killed by a fellow classmate, but takes full-on, serves-ya-right revenge. Goes bullocks due to some Witch Moon, and sucks the blood out of his own father on his second birthday, because of course he has two. Loses both his parents. Discovers his handicapped Uncle, whom he thinks the world of, actually cuts quite the shady figure and is the cause of at least half of his life miseries, directly or indirectly. Gets onto an airplane, risking his friends' life, and a dog's. Flies to a place he knows not where. Sees things he’s never seen, lizard-headed kids and bomb-stones. Drives into a vortex. Ends up in some fantasy land. Winds up at a Sweetshop and has the craziest experience there. Negotiates with a guy he has no background check on, trusting him to take his party to a highly dangerous band of putrid old women with magical staffs who might be the only key to setting things right.
Quite the tall tale, huh? And we're nowhere near the end yet.
Let’s just hope it’s a happy one.
Okay, choose.
Long chapters or short ones? If long, how long? If short, how long? If somewhere in between, then where, exactly, in between?
YOU ARE READING
Sort of Dead
Humor**This book features short, fun, snappy chapters** **Perfectly fine as a standalone** [Caution: may pack a couple of gutpunches.] "First things first: this is the story of how I die. Over and over again." __________________________________ Marra is...
