Dares with the Boy Who Doesn't Care

Chapter Twelve (Jamie POV)

When someone dies people like to sugarcoat or even ignore all of the bad things that that person did in their lifetime. Maybe it's just the respectful thing to do, but deep in your mind you must remember the way that person truly was. If you're going to mourn somebody you could at least mourn a real person. Mourn who that person was, not who you wanted them to be, even if you hated them. Because at the end of the day it's easier to forget someone you hated then it is to forget someone you loved.

I try my best to do this.

Robin appears out of the corner of my eye. He walks over to me before waving a hand in front of my face seeing as how spaced out I am. "What are you thinking about?"

"You." I say reaching for the pill bottle on my coffee table. He dismisses this common gesture and I swear I can physically feel every finger and every fingertip ruffle my hair.

I look up at him through my now messy bangs, he smiles at me. That smile that makes his eyes smile too. That smile that pleases and eases our parents. That smile that could've done the same for the entire world.

I challenge myself to look in the mirror across the room. Once I do I only see a reflection of myself sitting down and staring off into space. My hair, perfect, without a strand out of place. Robin, he's gone.

I turn back around and face the boy in front of me. His smile is dimmer yet still prominent. Turn. The mirror only shows the eye contact I make with myself. Turn. In front of me Robin's alive and well.

Lies.

"I'm leaving but I'll be back in a few hours." He says adjusting the collar on his shirt.

"Is dad making you meet with Emerald again?" I hear myself ask even though I already know the answer. This memory plays over too often.

"No I actually arranged this myself." He says with a smirk.

"What? Are you actually falling for your future wife?" I asked this teasingly even though now it seems so inappropriate.

"Don't worry, there won't be anything even remotely romantic going on between us." He tucks a large manila envelope into his coat and I don't ask what's inside of it, in hopes that he'll notice my curiosity and just tell me. He never does.

He never did.

"What, you don't like her?" I ask, again.

"I trust her, but no, I don't like her, at least not in the way mom and dad want me to." That's good because since you left me they're passing the arranged marriage down to me like an old pair of pants. That's what I think middle class families do. Hand stuff down to the next kid instead of buying new ones. I don't tell him any of this.

I didn't tell him any of this.

"Okay, I'm gone, bye." Despite already knowing this, except in a much more literal way, I feel myself wave at him as he leaves my room doing the same.

●●●

Sleep comes over me surprisingly and I welcome it as I slowly drift off.

**3 years ago**

"Dont let him pass!"

"Was that his brother?"

"It says 'CAUTION: DO NOT CROSS!' kid can you read?"

"Is that his brother?"

I hear comments like this as I push past several police officers, detectives and firemen.

The scene, even though a couple of hours old, is still a mess. Everyone must've been too busy fighting off those greedy rat-like reporters to do any cleaning up. Either that or they're still in shock, like me. Despite my mild concussion I had to come here to see everything for myself. It's just too unreal.

The smell of burning and gasoline heavily fluctuates the air. The rubbish comes in all sorts of pieces and sizes. From shattered shards of glass to blood stained metal.

One thing that really catches my attention is the flashy logo on the side of the 18-wheeler that's currently crushing a large portion of my brother's Porsche. Fletcher Trucking Company. The logo is so flashy as if the bastards are proud they're the ones who fucking murdered my brother!

●●●

I wake up angry and covered in sweat. That reoccurring dream gets to me every fucking time. It's been three years.

I get up out of bed and see that it's only 2:00am. Instead of waking up one of my servers, I use this time to do laundry, including my sweat stained sheets, and grab a glass of water myself.

Once I'm done, I realize all of the guys are probably out living their lives right now. Unlike all of them I don't have that one special thing that I can keep going back to.

Cameron has his sex addiction, which is probably what's taking up his time right now. I couldn't get into that even if I wanted to. With my status, one night could tarnish my reputation and effect my entire estate.

It seems kind of scumy to blame it on my ADD, but I do anyway. Back when I actually had time for girls in my life I'd always fuck it up somehow. Calling them the wrong name and/or forgetting we were dating entirely and accidentally cheating on them.

One night stands are also out of the question. I'd wake up wondering who they were and why in the actual fuck they were naked and in my bed. One girl, who I distinctly remember as not-Ally, got so upset after I did this that she quickly put all of her clothes back on, backwards might I add, then stormed out of my house. Not before knocking over a few priceless vases and stealing a diamond necklace which deeply upset my mother.

She interrogated me for a long time before realizing that I didn't give nearly enough fucks to be dealing with her that early in the morning. My dad didn't either.

On to Leo. He has his alcoholism and occasional drug experimentation. My medication is the main reason why I can't try and be about that life.

I remember having alcohol problems a while back, back when I frankly didn't give a shit about anything or anyone. I let it offset my meds. Since it was the summer time I didn't have to worry about failing at school in addition to failing at life. This was all because I didn't know how to handle being alone. 

Robin was gone. I inherited the weight of being an heir on my shoulders as well as the unconditional love from our mother who prior to, only cared about showing affection to her first child. I also got a hell of a lot of heartbroken fans who felt I was next in line to stalk and worship. None of it mattered then and it still doesn't. I don't care.

Noah I love him but he loves food more than life. He lives to eat instead of eating to live which is totally understandable considering he uses it to wallow all of his sorrows away. That and the fact that he's anemic and unable to gain weight. If I were to eat as much as he does I'd look like a hippo in a matter of three days.

Mark, like me, barely has anything substantial now. We lost our most precious ones and that took everything out of us. His love for Ella still lingers to this day and Robin haunts me everytime I close my eyes.

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Author's Note :
Thanks for reading and voting and and maybe just maybe comenting c': lol picture of Jamie aka L.Joe, and the song for this chapter is...... The Chaser by Infinite. One of my all time faves, it shows Robin(L)'s car accident and the lyrics relay how Mark feels about Ella.