How long can I keep Smiling

Happy Times?

Take these pills that I have prescribed you, they'll help you feel happy again.

Is what I read before throwing the pills bottle at the wall in rage "Pills again? These therapist are all retards....." I form my hands into knuckles, I had to stay in the hospital for a week before I could return to school.

I heard my door opens and turn to see Kendo in the door way "Hey Monoma, you ready to go?" She asks and I nod and walk with her to class.

Kendo has kept a close eye on me since she heard I got into the hospital, I could tell she was blaming herself for this happening, but I tell her it isn't her fault and it was just some villains who hated hero's and I was in my U.A. uniform at the time.

We sit down in our assigned seats and I lean over on my desk, I continue to keep my nice smile on my face as my I listen to the lectures of the teacher.

When class ended Kendo pulled me to the side to have a talk with me "Hey Monoma, are you okay? you've been acting strange recently, first you pass out from head damage, then you have a panic attack, now you end up in the hospital after disappearing a whole day for a doctors appointment, say why was it so long anyways?" She asks and my heart starts pounding.

I can't just tell her 'oh hey no I really was at a therapy session because I'm a suicidal freak and I ran away from it' I stood there blankly staring at her while she was asking for answers until I finally said "I'm fine.....I just have a lot going in right now that isn't really your business Kendo." I say and walk off to go and get my mind off this.

I decided to skip lunch and just head to my dorm to mope, I noticed the pill bottle still on the ground so I pick it up and read the label 'Happy pills, help you think of Happy times and Happy thoughts.'

"Happy times?....." I ask myself and chuckle. "My life never had any happy times......." I tell myself not remembering anytime in my life where I was happy, when my parents loved me I had to watch my sister get constantly beat and verbally abused by them, when they did hate me my sister took the abuse for me until she committed suicide and then they pinned all their hate towards me, at school I was hated by everyone, even teachers, my maids or butlers were never nice, my whole entire family besides my brother hates me, and therapy never worked........Now look at me, being forced to hate on people who don't deserve my shit, my class embarrassed because of me......I'm such a waste of space.

My phone buzzed and I picked it up.

Awase:Hey Monoma, you're not at lunch? Where are you?

I gulp and just say.

Me:Wasn't hungry......I just needed a breather.

Awase:Oh okay, such a shame though guess I'm stealing your IceCream dude.

I smile and sigh.

Me:Awww man if I had known they were serving IceCream I would have came :(

Awase:Hahaha don't worry Monoma I'll get you, your IceCream and bring it to you, where r u?

Me:At my dorm right now.

Awase:Okay be over soon

I put my phone down and stare at the roof, I then look at the pills bottle and shove it in my drawer, then get a knock on the door and open to see Awase holding the cup of IceCream in his hand "Here ya go, can I come in?" He asks and I nod letting him in and he sits at my desk and begins to eat his Icecream "Heard you got mad at Kendo when she tried to ask you if you were okay, is that true?" He asks and I stop eating for a second and think back to that moment.