How long can I keep Smiling

Venting

I was doing my homework for class, and had just hung out with the Kiseichū twins, they're actually great people, and I feel like they would be people I could vent to lots, especially Hiyshi saying she's really good at advice.

It's been a few week since the sleepover and we've grown into quick friends, and I've also grown closer to Yuga and Tsuki.

Bakugo and Midoriya have still been trying to figure out what's been going on with me, so I've been trying to hide it as best as possible.

And so far everything has been normal, very normal, of course I still want to die but I promised to do it after my brothers wedding since I promised to be his best man.

I had just finished when I got a call from my Grandpa.

I answer it and asks what he wanted.

"Hey Grandpa what's up?"

"What is this Neito! You got the files in the wrong order! How will you ever become a good businessman if you can't even get files in the right order!" Grandpa yelled at me through the phone.

"I-...Grandpa I'm not training to be a businessman......I wanna be a he-." I was cut off.

"IF YOU SAY HERO I SWEAR NEITO! YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF BECOMING A HERO! YOUR WEAK, A FAILURE! YOU'RE LUCKY ME AND YOUR GRANDMA EVEN GAVE YOU THE CHANCE THAT YOU HAVE NOW!" He discouraged me through the phone.

"......But Grandpa it's always been my dre-."

"YES ITS BEEN YOUR DREAM, BUT NOT ALL DREAMS COME TRUE! I WANNA FUCKING LIVE FOREVER BUT I CAN'T HAVE THAT CAN I?! WE GIVE YOU A CHANCE FOR A GOOD LIFE WHEN YOU TURN EIGHTEEN AND NOW YOU THROW IT AWAY!" He yells and tears fall down "YOUR UNGRATEFUL, SELFISH, AND NOW YOUR A BABY!" Grandpa tells me the stone cold truth "On the weekend I want you to come in and do it right!" He orders.

"......Yes Grandpa....." and with that he hangs up and doesn't even say goodbye.

I drop my phone and sob in my hands

Grandpas right I'm selfish, and Ungrateful!

That's when my door opened and Hiyshi came in "Hey forgot my hoodie, so came to get I-." She looks at me and closes the door and wipes my tears away "Wanna talk about it?" She asks.

I slowly nod and then begin to vent to her.

No ones POV
The Bakusquad and Deku Squad were ins tree trying to listen into Monoma and Hiyshi's conversation.

"Why are we doing this again?" Sero asks.

"Yeah is this like to blackmail Monoma?" Mina asks too.

"If this is then Midoriya, Bakugo I'm very disappointed in you! Blackmail will not be condoned as a he-!" Iida was cut off by Bakugo.

"It's not Blackmail Four eyes!.....it's some disturbing things Monoma told us the night of the sleepover..." Bakugo looks down.

"Wait hold on I can hear something." Todoroki says and everyone goes quiet and listens in.

"It's just! Why can't I do anything right!.....and I throw away my Grandparents chance to have a good life as a normal person.....I really am a Ungrateful Brat huh?....." Monoma says loud enough for the two groups to hear.

"Your not Ungrateful Monoma, don't listen to what your Grandfather tells you." Hiyshi comforts him.

"But he is right! Honestly I don't know why I'm trying to be a hero.....why am I even trying at life......." Monoma says.

Their eyes go wide "I-Is it a good idea to be listening to this?.....this sounds very personal and not our place to know....." Uraraka whispers shaking from what she had heard.

"B-Bakubro what did Monoma exactly tell you at that party?" Kirishima asks.

".......Midoriya.......is this what you meant as in Monoma wasn't himself?" Tsuyu asks the now crying boy in front of her on the front branch.

"Y-yeah......what is going on....? Is the problem do to his Grandpa?" Midorya asks himself.

When suddenly they all fall down to the ground by slipping.

Monoma's POV
I was venting to Hiyshi when suddenly I heard a huge bang from outside. So we look outside to see some people running away.....my eyes widened.

Did they hear me?! Oh god what do I do! What if they tell the whole school?! My Grandfathers reputation will be ruined!

"Hey, Hey Monoma calm down!" I heard Hiyshi say and I only realized now I was hyperventilating, my anxiety kicking in again......

"R-right sorry....." I apologize to her..... "I just feel so badly about myself and sometimes question why I was born....and what If that person tells others....do you know what that'll do to my GrandFathers reputation!" I explain and she sighs.

"It's okay." She pulls me into a hug and we fall down to our knees as she rubs my back "It's okay." She said and for some reason I felt like she was smiling.

But when I looked up she just had this concerned look on her face.

I am so Useless.....Ungrateful.......I'm sorry Grandpa, and Grandma.....I'm sorry for being born.....