How long can I keep Smiling

Aftermath

I was cutting my arms, I did it because I was feeling useless like always.......I didn't want to wake up anymore........ I was sick of living, sick of waking up to another restless day. It was the morning after 1-A had sleep after, so they were still here.

I was cutting myself when my door got a knock so I quickly put the razor blade away and put on a black long sleeved shirt and covered my hands.

I open the door to see Yuga and Tsuki there with smiles on their faces "Hey guys what's up?" I asked.

"Well me and Aoyama have been thinking and we thought the three of us could go and hang out for the day." She says and I think for a moment.

I didn't really want to go, but if I didn't I know my mind would tell me I'm a fucking retard later on "Yeah sure, after school?" I asked and they nod "Ok I'll see you two then." I said, and then closed my door and began to stare at the roof from my bed "....I should get ready for class." I said and got up bandaging my arms and the getting my uniform on.

When I left my room I made my way to the living area where some of 1-A and 1-B were hanging out, I saw Midoriya and Bakugo giving me quick glances of worry as I make my way past "You going to class Monoma?" Kendo asks me.

"Yeah, see you there." I say heading to class.

On my way there I was stopped by the Kiseichū twins "Hello Monoma, Nice to see you again." Hiyshi says.

"Nice to see you guys too, your party at the waterpark was amazing." I complimented.

"Thank you so much, you know your kind of cool, how about we be friends!" Tashikani says with amusement.

I stand there in disbelief....because who the hell thinks I'm cool. I'm useless, a waste of space, they're probably only doing this out of sympathy, or to get close to someone in my class, even though they don't have to do it like this because it would just be a waste of time....no one in my class likes me......no one in the world loves me....I'm unlovable..... even little kids are afraid of me or just hate me....like Eri....and others....my nephews are probably gonna fear me and-

"Hello you gonna answer us?" Hiyshi asks.

"Huh oh sorry, I was spacing out......I'd love to be friends." I said even if I didn't want to waste there time by having them be friends with someone as incompetent as me, I didn't want to disappoint them either.

"Ah I'm so glad!" Hiyshi says excited.

"Yeah you're not gonna regret it!" Tashikani smirks.

"I'm sure I'm not, see you guys later I have to get to class!" I wave them goodbye then head to class.

After a few minutes of waiting I hear the door open and look up to see Kogami there, and knew she was planning something "Hey Fatty~." She says.

"Please just leave me alone...."

"Stay away from my Yuga...."

"Huh?" I ask as I look up.

"You and Yuga are to close, I like him and I'm not gonna let you take him!" She yells.

My fave goes a dark red "W-What makes you think we like each other or that I even like him!?" I asked her of such an accusation.

"It's so fucking obvious you like him, so back off!" Kogami growls and I groan and just put my head down on my desk ignoring her "Don't ignore me you little-!" That's when the door opens and we both look to see the rest of our classmates rolling in. That's when she immediately turns into all sweet mode "Oh your so funny Monoma! Haha!" She pretends as if none of that ever happened.

"Oh what's happening over here?" Kendo asks smiling to us.

"Oh Monoma was just telling a funny joke." She's says and goes to sit down.

Then she made me think......is it really that obvious I like Yuga......?

After class during lunch
I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I heard someone come in, it was Bakugo.

He looks at me and gulps, I just glare and finish drying my hands trying to ignore him "M-Monoma......last night I-." I was quick to cut him off.

"Like I said save it.....I'd rather not talk about it and just forget it even happened...." I say going to walk past him when he stops me from leaving "Move it
1–A brat!" I yelled even though it hurt for me to treat people like this.....

"......so that's your plan?" He asks and I look at him confused ".....your just going to forget it even happened......how many times have you done that in your life?..... huh?" He asks like he knew it happened more than once.....and it did.

I'd tell myself to forget stuff even happened all the time.....when I didn't want to remember something I just told myself to forget it even happened, ignore everything I said, did, or witnessed ".....what happened......?" I said trying to pull that, but Bakugo was smart and wasn't going to go through with that.

"Don't deny that you confessed some things to me last night Neito Monoma!" He yells "You may want to pretend it didn't happen but I won't allow that! You brought me into whatever is happening with you and I'm not leaving until I get to the bottom of what is happening!" He tells me and I wanted to tell him it was none of his business.....but I know whatever I say won't get him to budge.....

"Me neither!" I heard Midoriyas voice say and he comes from out of one of the stalls.

"Huh? What do you mean Deku?" Bakugo asks him.

"Monoma told me some scary things last night too.....and you don't need to fear Monoma we just want to help......" he says and I could see no matter what I said he wasn't going to back down ether.......

I grumble and push past Bakugo running out and away from them, It was to much pressure!

When I got back to my friends I sat down and began to eat again "You okay Monoma? you seem kind of angry to me." Tetsutetsu asks and I look at him.

"I'm fine......just tired that's all....." I say

Why? Why are they trying to help?! After all the trouble and pain I caused them! Why would they want to help..........me?