Boy next door

7. Cleaning roses

T/W: cutting, abuse, panic attack

He cut

He immediately felt calm at the feeling of slits down his wrists.
Until he realized what he had done.
It had been a month and he ruined it all

I said I stopped
Shiro is going to hate me
They're going to throw me out
Shit
I'm a dumbass
Why did I have to cut?
I said I stopped

He was crying because
I SAID I STOPPED
After a moment, he calmed down and put on his big pink panther hoodie. He sat in the corner of his bed, knees up to his chest and he just sat there.
"Hey Keith, dinner's ready" Shiro said
"What's going on? You only put that hoodie on when you cut" He chuckled at the idea
"Wait, did you cut?" He sat on the bed next to him and looked at him. Keith looked up pain and fear in his eyes and that was enough an answer for Shiro.
"I cut, Shiro" he started crying again
"Hey, it's ok. We're gonna make it better," he looked at Keith's arm and pointed at it so Keith would know to show it to him.
He gently took his arm and inspected it.
"Look, if you can turn these cuts into scars, we'll get you a tattoo to cover it up"
"Really?" He finally looked a Shiro with a small smile.
"Really, but you can't have any cuts, anywhere"
"Ok" they hugged and went downstairs to eat.

After dinner, he went to his room and sat at his desk and watched Netflix. It was calming, as always and once in a while, he would look at his forearms regretfully.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Tick

Ugh what is that?
He looked out the window to see Lance
Of course.
He rolled his eyes and opened the window.
"What do you want?"
"Just wanna talk"
"Sure, about what?"
"I don't know, what do you wanna do when you grow up?"
"I guess photography? What about you" Lance's presence was soothing and calming.
He felt like himself around him.
"I wanna see space"
"Why?"
"Well it's really pretty, it's calm and peaceful and you know how they say no one can hear you scream?"
"Yeah?"
"Well no one can hear you cry either"
They talked like that for hours and Keith never wanted to stop.
"Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Nothing, I guess I have a shift at 8 ? But appart from that, nothing"
"Hm I have to clean the flowers"
"You clean the flowers? Why?" Keith seemed amused and looked Lance straight into his deep, ocean eyes.

"Wanna clean them with me?"
"Sure, what time?"
"3pm?"
"I'll be there" he said as he was about to close the window
"Hey what's that on your arms?"
"Huh?"
"On your wrists, what's that?"
God he's so innocent
"Nothing I just... cut myself while making food"
He lied. He hoped Lance would be naive, but he wasn't.
"Keith, come on I know self harm when I see it"
"It's not self harm. Even if it were, it's none of your business" he quickly closed the window and the curtains to sit on his bed.

His night was just like usual. He watches tv until midnight, then he goes in his room and stays up all night. Maybe, if he's lucky, he can fall asleep at 6. But not tonight. No, tonight he can't sleep at all. He gets up at 7 and goes to see Adam in the kitchen. He always gets up early because he opens the coffee shop.
He does the usual, he eats a toast or two, he takes a shower and brushes his teeth. He gets dressed and goes to sit in the café.
Today, he wanted to do something different. He did this once in awhile but he usually did it on the weekends.
He went outside to take pictures. He took some of the flower shop, coffee, a pen. What he loves about photography is he can make anything look good. Even a dumpster.
Soon enough, it was 3 o'clock.

He went in the store and greeted Rosa with a smile.
"Hey Keith!"
"Hey" he didn't really have any emotions, not sad, angry, happy or anything, just regular Keith.
Lance showed him to the back of the stoke where they would wash the flowers.
They had a big bowl of water in front of them and a huge pile of flowers. They began rinsing them gently and casually talking.
Should I bring it up?
I mean, he literally cuts through his skin voluntarily.
I should say something

"Keith?"
"Yeah?"
"Wh- why do you cut?" Keith's eyes went wide open as he looked shocked
"I-I dont know what to say to that..."
"But why?"
"I don't know Lance, it's just how it is"
"But it doesn't have to be that way!"
"Look, Lance, you clearly don't get it. I hurt, and when I panic and I just do it. It calms me"
Lance looked down
"It shouldn't" he whispered
"I think I better go home"
"No, please Keith, don't," the other boy turned to look at him
"I want you here" Keith turned and looked at Lance
"Do you really though?" He turned around and left.

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I know he stoopid🤦🏻‍♀️
Kaii🌸✌️