Pandemonium

Chapter 3

Shortly after Susan and her brother left, another nurse showed up in my room. Thankfully, this one wasn't covered in blood.

"Hi, I'm Raina. I'll be your caretaker for the rest of your stay here. It's time for lunch, let me help you up."

Blond hair, blue eyes and an innocent face, she looked like an angel. Unlike everyone else I had met earlier, her smile looked genuine. She seemed like she actually cared so I let her help.

"Thank you," I deliberately avoided saying her name.

R-A-I-N-A?

N-A-I-R-A?

A-R-I-N-A?

Her name could be any of these. It was better if I didn't call anyone by their name. People get offended if you get their name wrong and offending crazy people was not on my list.

Raina led me to a common room where lunch was being served. She scanned the patients and her gaze zeroed in on a familiar face. Patient 273X

"That is Emily. It's better if you stay away from her. She is a bit crazy," Raina whispered.

"Everyone here is," I muttered back.

"Yes, you are right. Now, it is best if you get some food and try to get along with someone. It gets lonely if you don't have any companions. I'll see you later when it's time for your medication. Be good."

I stared back at her as she left. Well, here goes nothing. I grabbed a plate and joined the line.

After getting food in my plate, I was contemplating where to sit when somebody tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around to see a guy about 6 feet tall and a girl who was a little shorter than him, about 5'7'' or 5'8''.

"Hi, I'm Joshua and this-"he pointed to the girl beside him "-is Katherine. We are py-"

"What he means to ask is would you like to join us?" Katherine interrupted him.

I nodded in agreement and followed them to a table by the window.

"So, you are new here, right?"

"Of course she is Kathy, we have never seen her before! What kind of question is that?"

"I was trying to start a conversation, which unlike you Josh, didn't say anything about our pyromania."

"What's pyromania?" I interrupted them before they could continue their banter.

The excited expressions on their faces told me they were proud of it.

"Pyromania is an obsessive desire to set things on fire," Joshua explained with a mischievous grin splitting his face.

I wanted to know more. "What things did you set fire to? It must be pretty bad since you ended up here."

"I...um... I have to go." He left abruptly.

"You shouldn't have asked that to him. You shouldn't ask that to anybody here." Katherine said as she continued eating.

"Why?"

"Tell me-"she took a glance at my nametag "-Renda, do you remember anything about your life before you ended up in this hell hole? Anything except meaningless flashes and a few people?"

She got up to leave, "Nobody in here remembers much about their previous lives dear. And it'll be better if you don't ask them about it. See you later."

I stopped her before she could leave, "Isn't that weird?"

"They say it is a common side effect of the medication used for our treatment. It is weird but there is nothing you can do about it. Trust me, I have tried."

She left me with more unanswered questions. Were medications supposed to do that? A little memory loss is fine, but not remembering your previous life was unsettling. Shouldn't different disorders have different treatments and thus different medications? Then why was huge memory loss a common side effect of the medicines? And more importantly, what did Katherine mean when she said that she tried?

The sight of Raina with a tray of medicines greeted me as I reached my room.

I moved closer to get a proper view of them. Were so many of them needed for treating my anagram related condition? Did I even need treatment for that or was there any other disorder that I had?

"Don't look so worried. Dr Susan prescribed them herself. They are only meant to help you," she tried to calm me down.

But hearing that Susan prescribed them made me worry even more. I didn't want to consume any medications without knowing the precise effect they had on me.

"I am not taking those unless I know exactly what they do." I informed Raina as I sat down on my bed.

"I am sorry. I am not supposed to tell you that."

I didn't say anything. I knew she would say something like that.

"Please take them. Or else they will force you to take them. I don't want that to happen, please take these medicines."

I could sense the desperation in her voice. It didn't matter. It was either comply and take the medicines or have it forced down my throat. It was an easy choice, reluctantly I took the medicines.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever" I replied.

"I am not allowed to tell you what they do but I can give you the names."

I looked up at her sharply. She scribbled the names on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

"Don't let anyone find out about this. I don't know what they would do to you if they find this paper on you. Be careful."

I was speechless and could do nothing but stare at her as she left. She was scared what would happen to me. She wasn't even worried that she might lose her job.

I felt guilty for using her. But I could make sure that nobody found out about this. I could have memorized the list and threw the paper away. But if those drugs fiddled with my memory, I didn't want to take the risk.

So I did the next best thing. I went to the bathroom and took out the bar that is used to hold the toilet paper. I memorized the note, rolled it, slid it in the bar and placed it back again.

.................

This is how the note was hidden, imagine the note instead of cash.