Powder [phan]

XVIII

WARNING: A TINY BIT OF SMUT (I'M A TEASE), MENTION OF DRUGS

***

Dan's POV

My eyelids rose and I noticed in the same breath that my body was glowing. I had a fever. The duvet stuck to my body and I pushed it aside, got up and opened the window a little to let in the cool morning air.

It played around my skin, instantly making me feel better as I watched the light, early morning mist on the streets. A look at my alarm clock told me that I had to get up in half an hour to get ready and go to the doctor where I had my first appointment today.

It was starting to get serious after I completely put my worries aside yesterday and just enjoyed not having to go to a clinic. But now the thought of having to open myself to another, completely strange person seemed all the more oppressive.

Slight discomfort spread through my stomach and I pulled my wet sweaty shirt, which I had put on last night due to the cold, over my head and lay back in bed to regain some strength.

My body and mind told me that it was right to go to a doctor because pills that could really help me were not only a relief for Phil and me, but maybe a way, to not constantly think about the little bag of coke in the bathroom.

Phil was on my back next to me and I slid closer to him. My hand hovered slowly over his chest, but then closed into a fist and withdrew, as a touch from me might pull him out of his light sleep. Watching him had to be enough to satisfy my incessant longing for him.

I also had to show him the parts of me that had been destroyed, no matter how ugly, I had realized that last night. The only possible way for me was to reveal myself to him and let him pull me along.

If we just woke up next to each other forever, luck would be enough to never be tempted to relapse again. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Just looked at me and for that moment the world stood still.

This time my hand lay on his chest because I couldn't wake him anyway and I moved so close to him that my upper body touched his arm, since he was still lying on his back while I was facing him .

"Morning." said Phil, stretching slightly, whereupon he put his hand on mine. "Don't you have to get ready?" He wanted to know and was about to get up, but I pushed him back into the sheets with my hand on his chest.

"I have a few minutes. Let's stay in bed for a while, right?" I asked him and leaned on my elbow, since he had turned his head again so that he was now looking up at the ceiling.

"What do you want to do in bed?" He asked innocently and looked at me.

"I think your body knows the answer." I replied, nodding down briefly to indicate the slight bump that stood out from under the thin blanket. You hardly noticed it, but I did.

"Men's problems." he commented with a grin.

"I wouldn't necessarily call that a problem." I said in a deep voice, and shortly afterwards my hand was gone under the covers and busy trying to remedy the situation.

His fingers hastily reached for the fabric next to him to find a hold and he tilted his head back with his eyes closed, which I was more than pleased to see. He breathed trembling through his nose when my alarm clock suddenly drew attention and the pesky beep made us both wince.

I hurriedly put it down before turning back to Phil.

"You have to get up." he said.

"I can do that later." I replied, my hand searching again for his boxer shorts.