Callaghan

12

12

MONDAY 7TH, OLIVIA

For hours on end, we talked and talked about what we thought of our lives. A quote I found, ‘You were put in this world because you’re strong enough to live in it.” Though sometimes I just wish things could be a little easier. Izzy was getting herself really sorrowful about her mum the more she thought of it, so I made an effort to change the subject. I asked her which dress I should have worn on that Wednesday: either a flowery white one, or tight blue one. Izzy couldn’t make up her mind, due to her being so distracted. I told her she could speak to me, and let it all out…so she did.

“Whenever I’m in one of these depressive episodes, I have a sense of hopelessness, like I’m worthless, and like I’m always guilty even though I know I’ve done nothing. I feel emotionally empty. I have difficulty sleeping most of the time, but some days I sleep too much. As you can most definitely tell, I’ve gained a lot of weight in the last year. I can’t concentrate well during school, I’ve had changes in my appetite, lost interest in a lot of activities and I’m beginning to get forgetful. I hate it. It’s horrible feeling like that.

But on the other hand, when I get manic episodes, it’s completely different. I feel excessively high and hyper, restless, irritable. I talk very fast, I have racing thoughts, I have a lot of energy, I never need sleep, and I have a risky (sometimes aggressive) behaviour. My mood swings from high to low within the click of your fingers. My doctor told me bipolar disorder affects about 1 person in a 100; why did I have to be that one?”

She told me that she talks to a councillor and she learns about the condition, and how to control it. I felt really sorry for her. After she had finished talking, and wiping her teary eyes, I suddenly realised what was going on. “You haven’t taken your medication again, have you?” She tilted her head down in shame. “Izzy! You seriously want another episode? Hurry up, let’s get the tablets.” Izzy groaned but I ignored her. I searched through her schoolbag where I found the orange pot of tablets. I quickly scanned the label:  

            IZZY PALMER.                                                                                                 BIPOLAR DISORDER.                                                                                     TAKE  2  TABLETS  4  TIMES A DAY.                                                             MEDICATION CAN HELP BRING MANIA AND DEPRESSION UNDER          CONTROL, AND PREVENT RELAPSE ONCE MOOD HAS STABILIZED.                COMMON SIDE EFFECTS OF THESE MEDICINES INCLUDE: NAUSUEA,      VOMITING, DIARRHEA, TREMBLING, INCREASED THIRST AND INCREASED       NEED TO URINATE, WEIGHT GAIN IN THE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF USE,     DROWSINESS.                                                                                                            SEE CAP FOR BEST BEFORE DATE.                                                                         

“How many have you taken today?” She didn’t reply. “Izzy!” I wasn’t going to let her breakdown. “Answer me!”

“No.” I poured 2 tablets into my hand and forced her to take them. She whispered, “I aspire to be like you Olivia; strong, thoughtful, unwilling to accept refusal. I want to be as eager for me to get better as you are. But I am simply not.” With it now being a difficult situation at home, I needed my best friend more than ever.