Worlds Away

Chapter Nine: His name

A few weeks later I went into labor. It was one of the worst pains in the world. I then was handed this precious baby at the end of it all. He was placed on my chest and even though I had requested no one tell Jack. He somehow was notified. Jack got to cut his son's cord and sat on a bench in the room crying while everything calmed down. Nurses had been asking us both if we had a name for the baby Jack being himself said Yes. I told the nurse no. I stared at the baby's precious little face as his lip moved in and out slightly.

"I don't think the name archer fits him," I whispered with the baby laying on my chest.

The baby had been cleaned off weight a whole 7 1/2 pounds. He had this sort of orange tint to his hair. He was tan in complexion compared to me. He had the sweetest blue eyes at the moment but I was interested in seeing if they would change and become dark like his dad's in the coming months. For right now though I knew no other feeling then complete and total love.

Alex and everyone seemed to walk in right as the baby fell asleep. The baby was passed around while Jack and I were both congratulated on the baby. Alex held the baby the longest before passing off the baby to Jack who passed him gingerly to Rian. Rian was struggling to hold a baby but then figured it out. Zack was a seasoned pro at holding babies taking the baby from Rian. Zack passed him off to my parents who looked at the baby adoring his face.

"Well he doesn't look like Jack," Alex cracked the joke while the tears started to spill over my face.

"Hey, Hey, what's wrong?" Ryleigh said sitting on the hospital bed with me as the tears kept spilling down my cheeks.

"It's probably just hormones," I waved her off when I heard a knock at the door it was TK and Carlos with Balloons.

"Hey, we just stopped by to say congrats from his gay godparents!" Carlos said all excited while TK went to a back corner.

"He is being passed around so just wait your turn or just wait until my parents are done with him," I began to hear the little whimpers from the baby.

"and on that note," dad handed him back to be before clapping his hands on Jack's shoulders and shaking him.

I held the baby before rubbing my finger on his soft cheek. I couldn't help but feel so frustrated. I had remembered to pack everything and everything was ready for me. His birth was fairly easy but naming him was something I was struggling with.

"Hey, can everyone leave for a second?" Ryleigh said and looked at the baby in my arms.

"Yeah just get us when you two are done with your sisterly connection," Alex joked while Ry just flipped him off.

"What's really going on through your head?" Ryleigh asked while I fought back the tears.

"I am going to ruin his life. I can't even figure out what his name is. We had this beautiful name set out for him all those months ago and I just it doesn't feel like it's his name anymore. I mean when I left tour I knew that wasn't his name but I don't know what his name is. The nurse said it will come to me. I will just be staring at him and then it will all click I will know his name. The more I look at him the more upset I get. What if I am a terrible parent? I mean I can't even figure out something as simple as naming him." I threw my head back into the pillow that was keeping me propped up.

"I guess Zack and I are ahead of you and Jack even if you aren't speaking for whatever reason. We discussed names we like and just like looking at the baby's face and deciding their name then off that list. We will have names that will we go through and just that will be their name." Ryleigh shrugged her shoulders like naming a child was nothing to her.

"You know I am older than you and I am supposed to have this shit figured out not the other way around?" I said letting out a light chuckle as a nurse came in with a bottle for the baby.

"Do you want me to look up baby names and call Jack in so you both can discuss it?" Ryleigh asked while I shrugged now.

I began to feed the baby while looking at his hair. I wondered where he got the hair from but it made me happy to see the slight tone of red-orange in what little hair he had. I had taken his cap off multiple times after his birth to just look at his hair.

"I mean if you think I should then yeah you can go get Jack," I spoke quietly and watched as the baby sucked the bottle.

Ryleigh got Jack who came and sat in the room pulling up a chair while Ryleigh climbed back on the bed. She raised an eyebrow at Jack while he looked like he was afraid he would hurt me or the baby. He looked like he built up these walls and I didn't get it.

"Okay, I can't with you two what happened why aren't you all gushing over him. He is adorable and you haven't said anything to each other. Have you even congratulated each other yet?" Ry asked looking between me and Jack.

"I told her she did a good job as soon as he was born," Jack said and looked down at his old converse.

"I told him congrats on being a dad," I said and looked at the baby in my arms.

"Oh my lord you two. You have a son now! Your relationship isn't just about you two anymore it's about him!" Ryleigh said before grabbing Jack's shirt and pulling him toward the bed.

"You aren't going to break him also stop being guarded. No one is going to hurt your feelings intentionally Jack you know that. God, it's like I am a marriage counselor. Log now let him hold his son and finish the bottle." Ryleigh instructed us to act as a team and not like we were two helpless individuals.

"I came in here to discuss his name and-" I handed the baby to Jack who stopped talking and just looked at the baby.

I watched as the tears welled in his eyes. I smiled and bit it back a little. I looked at Ryleigh while Ryleigh looked at Jack then asked the question. Ryleigh briefly knew why I wasn't talking to Jack. She knew everything but she had to hear it from Zack.

"Jack, did you cheat on Logan?" Ryleigh asked as he held the baby and shook his head as the tears escaped his eyes.

"No- fucking damn it-" his nose soon started to run giving him the sniffles.

"I wouldn't have cheated on Logan in a million years. I- she meant the world to me and he means the world to me now. He has my long fingers but he has Logan's face and they are my world even if it doesn't mean anything. I will try everything in my power to show it. I don't just want to be the deadbeat sending you money Lo. I want to be his dad," Jack said looking at me finally.

"I never broke up with you. I just left to take care of myself and him. I kept him alive all those months. I was so scared and I felt so alone. I had been told countless times and I heard someone moaning in the bus the one night I went to pick up my stuff and to tell you all bye or ask for advice. I just assumed-" I was cut off by Ryleigh interjecting names.

"Ryland."

"No." Jack and I said in tune while Ryleigh scrunched her nose.

"Jackson?"

We shook our heads going through what felt like hundreds of names.

"Okay we are in the H's guys there has to be one unless you know you want to name him Riley," Ry said and I shook my head.

"So can we go back to being Jack and Logan?" Jack finally asked as a nurse came in to take the baby for the night.

We had him for a few hours. I could call down and ask for him to be brought back to the room at any time but he was only really going to be gone for a few hours for all the normal baby tests.

"Yeah we can try again if that is what you mean-"

"Harrison!" Ryleigh sounded unsure and a little excited.

"That's his name," I said and she looked at me a little stunned.

"Harrison really?" Ryleigh smiled as Jack just chuckled.

"I like Harrison. It fits him I think. We still need a middle name though unless you want to keep-"

"Nope back to B names." Ryleigh chuckled and started reading through names.

"Harrison Brae?" Ryleigh said after going through a million more names.

"That is his name," Jack said and I looked at him nodding in agreement.

If only he were here to hear his name.