Worlds Away

Chapter Twenty-Six: Drink

In the days to follow, I started seeing a therapist again. I was required to write down the food that I was eating and having someone sign a sheet of paper. I honestly felt like I was back to being a two-year-old again rather than an adult. Jack had been distant which was weird but Ryleigh assured me it was just probably all the stress getting to him.

Jack and I finalized details about building on the piece of land and decided to build at least a six-bedroom home with still lots of room in case we wanted or needed to expand. Six bedrooms felt like a lot but while we were discussing with the building company how many rooms we would need we kept going between six and eight. Just if everyone wanted to come there and stay there would be plenty of room and plus Rian was quite literally just down the street. We finalized things such as house color, bricks, paving, grass, and other small details I didn't really think of. It felt weird going to all of these meetings and being call Logan Barakat when Jack and I were not married or even engaged. It was like a stinging reminder that I wasn't good enough to be with Jack. Which, if I was being honest I wasn't.

I know I hurt Jack in more ways than I knew possible. It was one of the things I hated about myself and hated about being in love and being so close to Jack. At any given point when one of us got mad, we could attack each other with these fine bits of information that no one else knew. We would bring things up from the past in our screaming matches when Harrison was not around and it would be like a war had gone on in the apartment. When in reality it usually ended up with saying I was through and would be leaving I didn't care to stay and Jack telling me to go ahead. I would make it as far as the bedroom and throw everything in my way.

Today was different though. Jack was going to be finalizing things for a tour while Ryleigh had a doctor's appointment. Zack admitted he was bummed about missing the Appoint but would be sitting in the meeting. Alex had told Zack countless times it was fine. Ryleigh offered to bring me but I told her no I was going to stay home with my boy. I was starting to pick out a theme for his first birthday. I mean we already had a theme in mind but it was something we wanted everyone to enjoy.

"Baby I'm leaving promise me you will eat something," Jack said leaning down to kiss me as I sat on the floor.

The rest of the guys had come to pick Jack up and hang out for a little while. Zack was growing attached to Harrison. I don't know it if it was the prenatal panicking setting in early or what. But, Zack would just offer to take and hold him as much as he good.

"I will J. I'm just finishing up the birthday idea board for Harrison's birthday and then I will eat. There is some leftover pasta in the fridge from the other night I plan on just having that. If not I will probably call-" Jack kissed me on the lips once again before giving me a soft smile.

"You will probably call Lis to come over and hang until Ryleigh is done with her appointment and then you girls can all talk about party planning," Jack said and I smiled up at his deep brown eyes.

"Yup yup! Go! Go to your meeting shoo!" I said swatting as his ass as Alex made a catcall noise.

I couldn't help but flip Alex off. Harrison was still sound asleep in a playpen which was a little unusually for him. At the same time though it really wasn't because anytime Zack came over and rocked him for long enough he would sleep for a few hours. Just when I thought I was completely alone. Lisa walked in carrying bags of food. I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Aren't you going to help me?" She chuckled walking into Jack's kitchen.

"You know in a few months you'll have to navigate a new layout?" I smirked as Lisa began to squeal.

"You guys are going to go and build!?"

"Yeah J and I decided it would probably be best since you know Harrison will need space to run around in and it honestly just feels like the right decision you know.