Worlds Away

Chapter Nineteen: Breakfast

Waking up to the sound of Harrison whimpers on a baby monitor brought me out of my sleep. I got up groggily and made the journey in Jack's boxers and a random t-shirt to Harrison. I picked him up and began to rock the small baby back to sleep. It was only 4 in the morning which was more sleep then Harrison had allowed us to have in a long time. I began to sing softly to Harrison while his whimpers calmed down I suddenly felt a pair of arms around my waist. Jack placed gentle kisses on my cheek. I turned and looked at him prepared to yell at him for not wearing boxers only to see he had thrown a pair on from the overnight bag.

"Morning," Jack said in his morning voice while I placed a now sleeping Harrison back in the crib to sleep.

"Good morning," I said and turned around to place my head on his chest.

"Why don't we go watch the sunrise?" Jack whispered as I nodded.

Jack kept an arm around my waist and went back into my bedroom to find a pair of pants and two hoodies. I threw on the hoodie that once belonged to Zack but then became mine. Jack wore a random hoodie he probably stole of Alex at one point or another. In all honesty, it's not like clothes were ever really stolen. We borrowed them and at some point, they would make their way back to their original owner, whomever that may be.

I opened the door hearing the gentle, click, of the lock turning to open the door. I stepped out onto the deck and looked out at the orange sky. I climbed onto a lounge chair and Jack slid up beside me. I looked at him with a cheeky grin and placed my head on his chest. Jack wrapped an arm around me once more as a shivered. We sat in a silence that was more than just silence. I took the world around me.

The sun file rose beyond the trees and fencing at my dad's house. I let out a yawn while Jack poked my nose and smiled. I couldn't help but cross my eyes and stick my tongue out at him while he let out a chuckle. There were so many things I loved about Jack. His ability to make me feel myself even at weird times was one of them.

"Did you ever think about naming Harrison, a different name like Tobias? I know you miss him obviously you kept his journal and all your memories together," Jack spoke quietly.

It was true I kept a lot of my stuff from my small amount of time with Tobias. It still haunted me to this day that I never completed all his mind games or puzzles. I wanted desperately to find a 'why' to all of Tobias' pain. I just had to understand I never would or could understand it. I couldn't fix Tobias. I could only ever be his friend and be there to help pick up all the pieces.

"Honestly?" I asked Jack as he looked at me.

"Yeah, I am not mad if you did. I just- I don't know, seeing that you still have his stuff and knowing if it were for Tobias. We might not be the people we are today. That's all," Jack said and shrugged looking away from me.

I put my hand under his chin and turned his head so he'd look at me. I shook my head in a simple no and signed the word no. I looked at Jack with a sly grin before climbing onto his lap. Jack shook his head and we kissed for a while before I was startled with the sound of the door, click.

"Good morning Logan!" Dad said all too happily carrying a now wide awake Harrison on his hip.

Harrison was babbling away on my dad's hip as I put my hands out for my baby. Mom came walking through the door looking as beautiful as ever. There was this sudden pang in my chest that I couldn't describe. I looked at my mom and I knew in my head I would never be as good of a parent as Brendon and Sarah were to me.

Dad handed me over Harrison before wrapping an arm around Sarah. They really were the perfect couple. They may not be perfect people but they were perfect to me especially together. I felt Jack wrap an arm around me while using his other hand to play with Harrison's hands. I felt my mouth go dry and I suddenly wanted to leave Harrison here and just get up and leave. I thought about all the things I couldn't do now being a parent. There was this part of my mind telling me to run and take Harrison but that wouldn't be fair to Jack.

"If you two want to go out for breakfast and have some safe adult time we can take Harrison, Logan." My mom said to me as I looked at Jack.

Jack gave me a shrug and I nodded handing Harrison over to her. It gave my parents some time to bond with their only grandson. I got up from my spot on the chair and grabbed Jack's hand slowly pulling the man up from the chair. This proved to be a challenge as Jack was much taller than I was. I then pulled him up toward my room. I went to the overnight bag and started pulling out clothes. I handed Jack a new shirt and while I quickly stripped my clothes off and put new clothes on.

I felt Jack's warm finger dance across my stomach. I turned to look at him as he looked down at my side. I looked at the little scars and what little stretch marks I did have. Jack kept his hand there before pulling me by my waist up against his body.

"I love you, I really love you and I hope you know that," Jack said before kissing my forehead softly.

I smiled as I felt his facial hair touch my skin and his chapped lips press against my head. I took in his smell. I quickly changed into my clothes so that way Jack and I could leave before my parents decided to change their minds. I rushed to put my shoes while Jack struggled with his.

"We are leaving!" I yelled as mom came in with Harrison on her hip feeding him a bottle.

"Okay! Have fun!" She said waving and took Harrison's hand to wave bye to us.

"Not too much fun!" Dad yelled from somewhere in the house while I took Jack's hand.

I took Jack's hand and grabbed his keys from the bowl before leaving. I threw his keys to him and we got in the car driving off to go get breakfast. We settled in on a little dinner. I began to feel self-conscious seeing that the meal I decided to order had more food than Jack's. I decided to only eat part of my meal. Jack noticed a slid up into the booth beside me.

"Hey, your beautiful, and I love you," Jack whispered in my ear.

It was like he could read my mind. All my deep dark thoughts were not safe there because Jack broke down the walls. Jack was the only one there and he knew what to do. I didn't get why my mind was betraying me so much. It only further proved to me how shit of a parent I would be.