Chapter Fifteen: Was It Ever Real?

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I never expected Rian to drop Jack off at Alex's. He walked up the steps of the house right as Ryleigh's car sped into the drive. Ryleigh hopped out of the car ready to fight Jack and make him feel every bit of pain I was feeling. Ryleigh understood this pain on a whole new level that Jack would never understand. Jack was lucky in that sense he would never understand my pain.

There was this uncomfortable feeling in the air between everyone. I go closer to Jack and put a hand on his face. I could tell he had been crying. He looked at me with sorry eyes but I didn't know if he was truly sorry if it was just my mind wanting to believe he was sorry. Jack grabbed my hand and held it softly as I just stared at him.

"I'm sorry," He whispered as Ryleigh shoved him pretty hard almost knocking him off his feet.

"You son of a bitch," Ryleigh started as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Ryleigh!" I shouted to no avail as she kept verbally attacking Jack.

Rian stood there with Alex until he finally whistled and then shouted.

"Everyone shut the hell up!" Rian was scary when he was mad so we all stopped.

"You are adults. We are all adults can we act like it instead of children. I know that is hard sometimes but fucking hell. Yes, Jack fucked up. Yes, Logan fucked up. Why is this any of Ryleigh's business?" Rian asked as Ryleigh poked her hand up in the air.

I pulled Ry's hand back down as Rian looked at her with a twitching eye. Ryleigh looked at Jack before letting out a huff in annoyance.

"I am sorry Jack for being a dick. I was upset you hurt Logan over something that couldn't be controlled by you nor her. We should all be supporting one another instead of hurting one another. We should also be supporting the decisions you and Logan make for Harrison until he of an age to make his own decisions." Ryleigh said looking at Alex almost like it was a scripted speech she had practiced.

"Jack," Rian said in a low tone.

"I am sorry Ryleigh for you being a-"

"Jack!" Alex said as Lisa walked out with Harrison in her arms.

"I am sorry Ryleigh for hurting Logan. It was not my intention to hurt anyone let alone it ever be Logan. Yes, I fuck up a lot. I don't know what I am doing half the god damn time. All I know is that it feels like every dream you ever have any more just turns out to be shit. Harrison can't fucking hear and it really hurt. I am sorry Logan for blaming you and for asking you to not bring it up. I felt as if we didn't address it then there wasn't an issue. I could continue to live in my happy little bubble where Harrison is perfect and healthy. Where Harrison could hear me and us..." Jack trailed off as I grabbed his hand and brought him over to a chair Alex had on his front porch.

"Jack you hurt my feelings so much. You don't even know how much that hurt me," I said as my voice became shaky. I felt the tears prick at my eyes and threatened to spill over.

"Jack, Harrison in perfect in every way possible. So he can't hear. There are options we have available and he isn't completely deaf. This was something neither of us could have controlled and I feel like we are just blaming each other constantly for things that are out of our control. I can't keep doing this it's not fair to either of us or to Harrison. Jack, I love you. Like I have never loved anyone else in my life. Jack, something has to give between the two of us. Our communication I think sucks and I know we suck as parents right now because while we claim we are doing the best we can are we?" I looked at him as the tears looked ready to fall.

I wiped his eyes with my thumb like a parent would as he grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles before pulling me into a hug. Jack whispered sweet nothings in my ear and held me close. That was the day I knew that this was going to change I could only hope that they would be for the better. Things change and that is okay because we change with them.

"Okay hate to break up the reunion of lovers but fussy baby," Lisa said handing Harrison over to me but Ryleigh quickly snatched him away.

"Why don't you and Jack have a date night every week and we will take Harrison for a night or two nights. It gives you two time to go and be adults and work shit out while it gives me, I mean us, time with our favorite little boy!" Ryleigh tickling Harrison with her fingers.

I looked at Ryleigh a little skeptical. It wasn't that I didn't trust Ryleigh with Harrison. It was completely true. I didn't trust Ryleigh with Harrison or anyone who wasn't Jack or myself. It was a struggle for me to leave him in the same house while we went to record literally a floor above or below. It was hard for me to get back into the swing of being a human. I still had this fear that if I wasn't with Harrison the whole time that someone would happen that I could have prevented.

"It'll be good for you and we aren't letting you two say no," Ryleigh said smirking and turning her back to us while holding Harrison on her hip.

Jack looked at me while I looked at him. I looked back and Ryleigh who had Harrison. Harrison had these eyes that were dark brown and this red hair that was just slightly curly right now. He had my nose which was something everyone said they were happy to see. But he really looked like a good combination of both Jack and me.

"Okay Ryleigh we will allow this for a while until we start to be normal Jack and Logan again but after that can it end. I really do want to watch my son grow up." I pouted and made grabby hands for my baby.

Jack quickly snuck in and hugged me tight and picked me up. Everyone began to laugh I couldn't help but smile and laugh a little too because that was Jack. Jack didn't like seeing people sad. I felt really bad knowing that I caused his sadness but also incredibly proud of myself for standing up for Harrison. I couldn't imagine a world where I allowed my son to fail because I was too selfish to speak up and speak against his father.

Alex cleared his throat knocking everyone out of their train of thoughts and various other conversations. Jack had an arm wrapped around my shoulders sort of leaning on me and holding me close. It was like he was scared if he let go I would slip away. I looked at Alex.

"When is Harrison's appointment?" Alex asked looking at his phone.

"Um in a few days like Monday why?" I asked as I felt my eyebrows scrunch together.

"Well, All Time Low was requested to do an interview along with you guys. But they want you and Jack more as a couple type interview than anything else. I mean we can say no if you don't want to do it-" Alex rambled and offered to take Lisa and tell them sorry we were busy.

"No, we will do it. I mean the interview is Sunday and then his appointment is Monday so we could do it pretty easily. Just a little nervous because I can't remember the last time I sat down to do an interview."

"Well this will be more than one interview it will be interview time it will be an all-day thing. Someone will have to take Harrison and I mean the rest of us will probably go. Ryleigh could stay back with Lisa and they could take care of Harrison or Lisa could if she wants to go with us. Rian and I have an interview right before lunch you and Jack have one first thing then Zack and Jack have one later in the day..." Alex trailed off about the interview but I just smiled as Lisa rolled her eyes at her husband.

I was in love with the way Lisa looked at Alex with such love. It was the same way Ryleigh looked at Zack. I could only hope that was the way I looked at Zack because everything felt so real. I felt like I was in love with him for so long it was a bad secret and not it was more than real.

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