BROKEN (LUCRECIA)

Two

Unedited
Super unedited
Sorry

Consequences by Camilla Cabello

" are you okay?" he asks  again

I snap to reality and answer him
" oh yeah I am, thank you so much"

" You can take the rest of the shift off after serving this young man okay" james says

" that won't be necessary, I'm fine" I retort In a squeaky voice. I'm still a little bit shaken.

" I insist, now please help this fine young gentleman who just saved you, get him a table, I will tell Emily to clear that table and clean the mess" I know this is gonna make Emily hate me more

"here is your table for one sir" I pointed " You can call me Danzel" he says nonchalantly

" and I'm Lucrecia, here is your table, welcome to pop's dinner what can I get you?"

" medium mild steak, small fries and one sugar free soda" he gives me back the menu

" will that be all? "

"yes"he nods

" your meal will be ready in 5 minutes sir"

He lifts his eyebrow

" I mean Denzel" I  maneuver through the tables ignoring glares and murmurs from people

After serving my knight in shining armor, I say my goodbys to Rakish who kept telling me not to walk alone because the old men might be waiting for me outside.

I peck him on the cheek and I head out. I feel like there is car following me. I  stop walking, look back and I see a black jeep SUV approaching me. Another voice is telling me to make the run for it, but the curious feerles one prevails. The car stops and the driver rolls his window down slowly, Revealing the person inside

" You know it's not safe for you To be walking this side of town alone right and especially at this time of the night, not to mention what happened today"

" sir, I mean Danzel, I live this side, 2 more blocks I will be there"

" get in the car" he demanded

" excuse me?" 

" just get  in the way "

" no thank you, it's not that far, actually it's like 10 more  minutes and I will be at my door step"

He opens the passenger door and he gives me that I-am- not-gonna-take-no-for-an-answere look.

I climb in, and close the door.
After two minutes of awkward heavy silence Danzel speaks up

" who do you stay with? "

" why?"

" I'm just asking? How old are you"?

" that's a very personal question sir, I mean Danzel"

"I'm 24, and you are?" he questions again

" is this an interrogation? "

"no"

" You can stop the car, I stay right here, thank you for the ride"

I get off the car with my almost broken  phone.

I unlock my door, get in and lock it again, I make myself a quick sandwich, l plop on the couch and switch from channel to channel.

Sometimes i don't like not having anything to do cause my heart and  mind  betray me they arrest me and take me to my thoughts and emotions, where I get hold hostage and tortured.
Every feeling I have bottled up is slowly eating me  Inside, what's left of me is so tiny.
I feel warm bitter  tears rolling down my cheek.

************

" I'm sorry I didn't mean to"
I cry out, begging him to spare my life

"shut up" he yells at me

I feel his long sharp nails clench my flesh as he pulls me closer to the fire. I can see the bright sparks of fire in his eyes. I fear for my life. The smoke from the fire is drying my throat, my coughs are dry and filled with screams. There's no one to help me.

"forgive me" I plead with him to spare my life.

I wake up and realise that it was just a dream, I'm panting and breathing really heavily, my body is shivering and my pillow is wet with sweat. My past is slowly crawling into my life. I hear gun shots and car chase out the window. This makes me more terrified.

I start shivering more and hearing voices of screaming people,

" Ahhhhhhhhhh," I release a scream. I'm panicking, I start to chew on my finger tips, my eyes are scanning the room, my fingers are bleeding.

"It's okay, you are safe " I try to calm myself down

I quickly switch on the night and grap my Bible.

I page through the Bible and I stop at Deutronomy 31 vs 6
"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."

This kinda makes me feel better knowing that God is looking over me, but I feel guilty every time I think about all the sins I have committed.

I Bow my  head and pray
Dear God, I'm scared
I know i have wronged yiu
I have done unspeakable things.
I don't deserve your mercy but please have mercy on me.
Forgive me for all my unrighteous sin. Draw me closer to you, wash me your blood. Please protect me, in you I trust.

Amen.

I change my pillow case and neatly place the sweaty one in the Laundry bin. I trudge to the bathroom, turn the tap and i wash my hands, the white dripping from my hands had slightly turned red from the blood.