Detached

CHAPTER 77

*MEERA'S POINT OF VIEW*

Two weeks after Riyansh left, it was college break. Before all of this happened, Riyansh and I had been talking through options for the vacation – the one that seemed to be the winner was asking my parents if I could go to Pune with him. So the fact that I was at the Farm House was now doubly hard for me. Dean and Pratik both got the two weeks off, so they dropped me with my parents and then headed off in their separate directions to spend time with family.

My mom cooed how lovely it was to have me home and how much she’d missed me while she gave me a guided tour of the Farm House. I’d already been once before, on the day of my father’s inauguration, but my mother seemed content to show me around again – probably to pass the time. She didn’t once mention James or his disastrous retrial, or the fact that apparently my worst nightmare wanted me back again.

My bedroom was the cream one that I’d chosen on the first visit. As I stood at the window, looking out over the beautiful grounds at the back of the building, I couldn’t even bring myself to smile a real smile. During the last two weeks, I’d become pretty adept at faking being alright though. People didn’t realise how much pain I was feeling inside, which I was grateful for. I was pretty sure that Dean had an idea of my suffering, but thankfully he didn’t mention Riyansh anymore.

Staying here for two weeks meant I would spend my twenty fourth birthday here too. When I woke in the morning on April 15, I couldn’t stop the silent tears that fell down my face. If there was ever a day that I regretted sending Riyansh away, it was today. Memories of Ankush and his death plagued me before I was even fully awake.

For the last two anniversaries, the sadness had consumed me. I’d gotten extremely intoxicated and I’d washed down a bottle of pills. This year would be different. I’d promised Riyansh that I wouldn’t ever do that again, and, to be honest, I didn’t actually feel like that girl anymore. When I was in that dark, depressed state, I couldn’t see any point in living; I couldn’t see anything good in the world, but knowing that there was someone like Riyansh out there just made the world a happier place for me. Yes, I was sad and lonely at the moment, but I just wasn’t in that dark and depressed place anymore. I knew that there was a point to life. Sure, my heart hurt for Riyansh, but I knew that he would be happy soon. I believed in what I was doing. If I didn’t love him so much, I would’ve never been able to push him away and put myself through this.

My cell phone was buzzing happily on the side, vibrating loudly against the wood of my bedside unit. I ignored it, knowing it would be Riyansh. He had been calling me every five minutes since seven o’clock so I’d switched my phone to silent. By the time I got out of the shower and dressed, the phone had finally stopped ringing. I picked it up, seeing fifteen missed calls and eight new messages.

The calls were all from him in a series of five minute intervals. Five of the messages were from him too. The others were from Ruhi, Sakshi and Monika, all of them wishing me happy birthday. I opened the messages from Riyansh and took a deep breath before I read them:

1 - Happy Birthday! I hope you have a good day. Please call me, I really need to speak to you, today of all days. I love you x

2 - Meera, please don’t do anything silly today, please? I love you.