𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 • jennie kim

01 | your

jennie read through the comments silently, the harsh words of her fans' opinions on their recent comeback playing in her head.

"the song was so underwhelming...terrible, really."

"it's horrible and only has mediocre singing."

"is that all blackpink can do? the girl group of century, they say, and their best is this crap."

"i'm surprised that girl jennie is even main rapper. everyone remembers lisa from coachella, not her, and this comeback doesn't show her off as a rapper anymore. she seems like the useless member of the group now."

she felt a pang somewhere. in her heart, perhaps. but it didn't stop her from reading more. her thumb continued scrolling down, her eyes rapidly scanning the words. not exactly registering.

"the song was shit. doesn't deserve the views."

"blackpink shouldn't be the biggest—"

"jennie?"

she heard her name being called in the midst of reading the comment.

she looked up, swiping the instagram app away and saw jisoo beckoning to her, "it's time to perform."

jennie nodded, signalling that she is coming.

she put her phone on the couch beside her, letting her head lay against the wall. she exhaled heavily, squeezing her eyes shut.

she felt drained.

heavy weights felt tied to her ankles and wrists. every single movement took more energy than it should. she lived solely by counting down the hours left to a day. there was nothing she could look forward to, in her opinion.

and they had barely begun promotions.

she wanted to sigh. yell. cry. maybe it was because she was tired. maybe it was because the long anticipated comeback, which even she was excited for, seemed to be a huge disappointment.

she wanted to vent it out somehow, but none of her facial features even twitched.

she didn't know how to let it out. but she couldn't. she knew jisoo would listen to her but she didnt want to be a burden.

however, she didn't want to perform. nobody seemed to enjoy it anyway.

especially since her dancing was supposedly not good. horrible even.

she lacked stage presence and charisma. she was boring and dull now.

her eyes no longer had the sparkle they had once had. once they were ethereal, the sun's kisses, rich and soft. now? they were sunken, a dark bottomless pit of emptiness.

but she was trying to improve, she just didn't know how. everything she tried, she was criticized for it.

they criticise her every breath, her every move, her every cell.

but what could she do?

nothing, really.

then why should she try?

what was the point of doing all this? fans didn't know the real her, anyway.

nonetheless, she faked a smile and double checked her outfit, before walking to join her members.

nobody could know she was feeling this way. she didn't want to come off as ungrateful. so she squared her shoulders, and entered the stage.

at least the fanchants were quite loud. however, it still didnt keep the comments she read earlier from embedding themselves over and over in her mind.