𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 • jennie kim

06 | to

after resting in her hotel room, jennie knew she should do a live to reassure her fans she was okay.

even though she was not.

but she needs to, before the comments under every post is filled with either hate or "are you okay?"s.

she sighed, forcing herself up and took our her phone. she smoothed down her hair and practised plastering a fake smile.

she set her phone down in an area with nice lighting and before she could change her mind, started the live.

"hi, blinks!"

that well-practiced squeal, smile and happiness.

but the smile did become genuine for a moment when she noticed how many thousands joined immediately. she felt cared for.

"thanks for all the concern blinks! i'm really okay," she smiled warmly into the camera.

no, i'm not actually.

she read a few of the comments. some very expected.

"clap if you hate yg."

"marry me unnie!"

"so beautiful jennie <3"

but of course there's the vomitting emoji comments.

she tried to not take much note of it, choosing instead to answer some of the questions.

as time passed while she answered more, her spirits were indeed lifted and she laughed and smiled genuinely.

she felt loved and appreciated.

that was until she decided to read another comment out loud.

"go look into the mirror..."

"why?" she smiled, thinking it was a cute pick up line.

"...to know the definitely of ugliness and untalented."

she read out the comment after that by the same user, her voice getting quieter towards the end. hopefully, her voice was quiet enough so blinks wouldn't hear the crack.

she managed a shaky laugh "haha, you're really funny," she gave a weak smile.

jennie tried to go on, and look at some positive comments. but all the new comments flooding in were constant reminders of the hate comment.

"you're not ugly!"

"jen, you're gorgeous!"

"that bitch doesn't know what she's talking about."

you all are saying this only because you're my fans.

she thought bitterly. that too, they will only be fans until she could no longer keep up the perfect idea they had of her.

she tried to move on, seem strong and unaffected. but suddenly, all the hate comments seemed so prominent.

suddenly, it was only the vomiting emoji comments that she could see.

suddenly, she felt hated all over again.

she couldn't do this. she needed to end it.

"s-sorry blinks!" she cursed herself inwardly for the stutter. now they're going to think she is attention seeking again.

but i'm not like that. why can't i prove it to them?

"i need to go now," she smiled fakely, doing heart shapes with her fingers and waving her hands.

and she ended the live.

she layed on her bed, tossing the phone aside.

she puffed her cheeks, letting out a deep exhale.

and then the tears came out.

silently trailing down her cheeks.

no,

she wasn't okay.

she never was.

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