Coffee Break

I Crave You

I miss her: I crave her warm touch, I reminisce about all the times I held her protectively in my arms, away from all of the dangers and monsters that hide in the dark crevasses in her head. Them times stopped a couple of weeks ago- I broke the millions of promises I gave to her- it was a mutual decision but nevertheless it still hurts my heart thinking about her. I crave her existence, I need her, physically, emotionally. She won't ever come back to me, she's gone from my grasp, and I have to one day accept that.

He doesn't know that i will never be coming home to anyone, I miss him, like he does supposedly from the many missed calls and texts he rallies my phone with, I made the mistake of letting them get the best of me, without him it was easy for them to invade my mindset. I got caught at gun point, they shot at me, captured my whole mind and made my brain fall apart. I'm afraid that it might happen to him if he realizes I will never open his voicemails of his soft voice giving me an overload of serotonin: I will never get to hug his warm torso, hold his hands, pull his arm when I try and run up to a shop window of a plush that I so desperately would want. I would take it back if could- but that will never be allowed- nor is it possible to do so. I have to accept the facts that he is gone from my grasp.

She belongs to me, she always has, yet she is nowhere near me and she isn't my property. She holds me together, the thought of her in my arms brings me joy and happiness, if only it could come true once again. She is my life, and I could not do it without her here. I crave her touch more than I could voice, she is like glue to my broken heart, she welded it together with time and effort- something rare and beautiful. What once in agony and traumatised, is now shielded and perfect back together, because she has committed. Even though we aren't together now, we can always be like we once were, the truth although upsetting, can always be changed.