7:53pm
Oh my I'm not updating at the end of the day where the chapter won't be posted till the next day. Me trying to be funny
But to the actual reason I wanted to update. I have barely made it today. Sucidal thoughts came in like a wreking ball and urges came right with them. I dont know how much longer I can keep teetering on the line of so close to self harming and self harming. I think it's going to be soon. I really think my streak is going to end. I dont want it to but the urges keep getting worse.
I'm here trying to stay in a good mind set and I get fucked over. One of my friends wont look at my texts and I don't know the reasoning, but on the other hand if I would have came home on Sunday like planned I would've known. What's even worse is my other friend keeps repeating that fucking line over again and it's annoying. I actually got into a fight with that friend because of it. Me being a little shit head decided to yell "I know" and storm inside my house. Then getting a text that vasically said "If your gonna act like a brat dont text me." So right in this moment I've lost 2 major people who help with my mental health in a time I actually really need them.
I really need to let the one friend that im I'm a fight with calm down and I need to talk with the other freind, till then I don't have my complete support system to help me. It sucks to have to post about a bad day so early in my new streak (since I'm adding more days then my last try) but today has been a pretty hard day for me.
Well that's it for the longer update.
Rember you can always rant in my comments or private message me if you need to talk.
Stay safe and healthy my little demons. Bai
YOU ARE READING
My Sober Start
RandomThe cover was found on Pinterest. All rights go to the owner Just a small journal that I'll update every once in awhile so I can keep track of my streak. This has mentions of self harm (I'm trying to stop cutting) so don't read if this will trigger...
