Breath

Running Back Again

What's going on with me?

I'm not like this.

I've retreated,

I'm back in my shell,

My mask is back on,

But no one can tell.

I'm not who I used to be,

I've changed to who I was before,

The person I hated,

The person I didn't want to be,

The person I tried,

So hard,

To leave behind.

I don't want to be her.

I want to leave her,

Back in the dark,

Throw in the box,

Locked in my past.

But it terrifies me,

Puts a chill in my spine,

And a sense of dread in my stomach,

That she won't leave.

I'm terrified that this is it.

That I'm done.

That this is all I can ever be.