Find your love.

Chapter 1.

"Get out of my house!" My mum was the first one to hate me, I don't even consider that twat to be my mum. She was never there for me, always telling me how I will become a failure and how I'm the reason why Daddy left. She would hit me all the time and say you've been a mistake ever since you popped out of me. I hate her.

"Yeah I WILL!" I slammed the door shut and picked little Noah up, he had droplets of tears escaping he's bold eyes. "Shh baby, mummy's here" I cooed, kissing his full cheeks. Noah was my little ray of sunshine, although I had him young that didn't mean he was a mistake. He was perfect.

"Don't ever come back again!" my mum screamed from inside the house, I heard a few bottles smash after taking her grandson away from her. I didn't give a flying monkeys, I hope her body rots in hell. I put Noah down to zip up his jacket and hugged him.

"We're leaving yeah, me and you" I smiled, he smiled back. He wanted to say something but you could tell he was struggling, as a baby going into a stage of saying big words it was obviously hard for him to speak. But he was eager to learn and try. I remember when Dion was here he.... No. Dion was never here.

Hand in hand me and Noah left the hell home, I wanted to go somewhere exciting. But obviously we couldn't, every where you go all you see is towers of dark red and gray buildings printing itself onto the landscape of London. It spoiled the atmosphere but it made London....well London. We walked through the parks and hang out places where major gangs jam in. Nothing scared me though, it was just the well being of Noah's health that did. If we were to stay outside in this cold weather he was bound to catch a cold and that would mean he would have to go doctors and that. I wasn't in the mood.

The only person that would take me and my baby in would be Aunty Akua, she's my Daddy's sister. When she found out that my mum was being a pain in my backside she always took me in and gave me the best advice. I respected her unlike some.

To get to her house would mean four buses and a long walk. Yes, it was long but when your mum smacks you around and calls you every bitter word in the dictionary you don't think about that long journey. You want to leave and go to the safest warmest place that you would consider home.

"Boom ting, you want to come round mine?" ugly, repulsive, hideous and my favourite word ;littered mouth and unattractive, why would you consider yourself a 'gyalist'. I walked away squeezing Noah's hand softly making sure I didn't crush his small hand. "Why you airing?" bad breath, spotty and confidently naive. He was pushing his luck, I was this close to slapping him but then I didn't want my hand to connect with his rough face."Your some bait sket anyway, having a kid and that" right, I lost it.

"If I was a bait sket I would have jumped on your dick before you have even proposed the offer you idiot, and me having a baby boy doesn't mean I'm a sket! It means I'm a mother and I don't want my son growing up to find out that he's mum was messing around with ugly TWATS like you" I was rarely calm when it came to people judging me before even knowing me. The hideous like boy stepped back from me and allowed me to continue with my journey. He had nothing to say. I was right. I mean I was, if I was a sket I would have jumped on his dick before he even opened up his dirty dry lips.

"Mummy, Hungry.." Noah cried, rubbing his hand on top of his fluorescent orange coat. I sighed. All I had was £20 and there was no fast food joint around.

"If you see McDonald holla at mummy ok?" I smiled looking down at the little baby which I had conceived and given birth to. He grinned his teeth and began looking around. I laughed.

The sky was beginning to turn dark and the coldness was biting me, I was worrying now because we had a long way ahead of us. Noah was hungry and cold which is bad for a 2 year old, I forgot his damn buggy. And I was getting cold as well.

We continued walking till we arrived at the bus stop, to my surprise it was empty. The whole street was. Usually, everyone is out at this time.

"Mummy" Noah began to cry, I guess the hunger was eating him up inside, I picked up and sat him on my lap.

"I'm sorry baby, Mummy will buy a big burger" I kissed him and fished inside my bag, wishing that I could find something to keep his mind off things. Fail. All I had was my purse and dummy. FAIL.

"Daddy" Oh no.

"Gone on holiday" I hate lying, I hate it. He's too young, he won't understand. If I said Daddy left me and you one morning he would only get confused. So saying he went on holiday was partly true.

Flashback;-

I never really understood the concept of love and what it meant by having feelings. I never had boyfriends. Boys were yukky. When I arrived in secondary school nearly every girl had a boyfriend or what you call a 'link', it made me wonder how it felt to have someone holding your hand and being by your side till you both turn gray. Watching loads of disney and teen romantic movies and reading loads of books I thought I had the all idea of love. Like what it is and how it feels like, how the girlfriend plays her role and how the boyfriends plays his, vice versa. I was totally digging the idea of love.

Year 7 was when I thought I might find a boyfriend, like the ones on disney but that failed.

Year 8 the same.

Year 9 the same.

Year 10... year 10... I was 14 at the time, thinking its my time now. I thought I was ready. I had enough of waiting for love. Year 10 was the year I met Dion, the love of my life.

It didn't start like how it did in most movies, it was different a bit complicated. It was like this.

Lunch time:-

"Sophia come bring your backside here girl!" Louise shouted, shoving her stale sandwich in her mouth. The canteen was the place were people conformed, friendship groups on different areas of the canteen. We were at the back, with all the boys.

"Coming man jam" I replied bringing my tray of food forth to the table, there no seats for me and I asked Louise to save me one.  F A I L. However there was only one seat, it was next to Dion and his lot. Louise did that on purpose. Sly cow.

"Sorry babes, people stole your seat, sit here" let me translate what Louise meant. 'Look, I didn't save your seat because I wanted you to sit next to Dion so you can bond and become an item'. I had no choice, I placed my tray next to Dion and sat next to him. Louise however smiled to me..silly cow.

"You alright?" I faced Dion who asked me a question, I took a few seconds to answer.

"Yeah I guess, you?" ..

It started like that, from one single question and a mix up of the seating plan. We fell for each other and risked everything to be with each other. I gave him more than I was willing to give and he gave up his life of hustling to be with me.

We didn't have the cute kind of relationship, we didn't have the peaceful relationship. There was arguments, misunderstandings and differences. We were complete opposites but it didn't stop us from creating our future. Our perfection. Our baby. Our son.

Why he left? I don't know. But I was willing to find out. I needed closure.

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