Lullaby of Your Embrace (COMPLETED)

Chapter 13

I awoke from someone's hand stroking my hair.

"We have class starting soon," Benjamin nudged me. I sat up immediately and stumbled off the couch, disoriented. Benjamin walked to me and hugged me quickly.

"I'm leaving first," he said and walked out. I nodded at the emptiness of the room and sleepily walked to the restroom, wondering why left so suddenly. It didn't seem like him, at all. I would usually be the one telling him to let go. Why was he suddenly letting go of me so quickly? I dressed slowly, ate breakfast robotically, and left for class.

Once I arrived on campus, Jasmine appeared beside me.

"Did you do it?" she asked. There was not even a 'hello.'

"No, I held back, but I thought of jumping on top of him a total of 87 times just yesterday," I said plainly. There was no point avoiding what she wanted to hear.

Jasmine gasped, "You must be so frustrated."

I nodded furiously, thinking of this morning. "But I'm making him mine, eventually. What's the rush?"

Jasmine smiled surprisingly then proudly at my declaration. I, myself, didn't know where these words were coming from. I was never that confident before in my whole life. She nudged my shoulder, "I like this new you."

I saw Benjamin walking down the hall with Ricky and a blonde girl who was laughing by his side. I immediately waved goodbye to Jasmin and approached him.

"Benji," I said, "I need a hug." I hated myself for acting this way. I was well aware of my intentions. Benjamin looked at me warily.

"Who's this?" the blonde girl asked. Who are you, I thought.

"Mae. Mae, this is my friend Sam."

"Hi," I smiled, but I couldn't help thinking if Benjamin would also officially introduce me as a friend.

Sam waved and smiled back. Her smile was beautiful. Benjamin stared at me quietly.

"How long have you known each other?" I asked Benjamin, who shrugged.

"Five years, now," Sam answered. I abruptly turned to her, putting on the fakest smile I could muster. 

"Benjamin and I met recently but we are already closer than people who've known each other for decades," I stated matter-of-factly. I had never known I was such a pathetically jealous person until that moment. 

Sam smiled again, "Benjamin has never mentioned you to me."

"Why would he mention anything to you?" I asked politely. "You're just a friend." Benjamin and Ricky glanced at each other. Sam's smile disappeared, and I hated myself. Why was I being so rude to her? She was probably a nice person, I thought. Suddenly, I didn't seem to be in direct control of my actions. A flame was kindled inside of me, and anyone who dared near it even slightly, I felt the urge to burn. What was once self-indulgence had become twisted into some possessiveness I never knew I was capable of. I gulped and stated, "I have to go to class, see you later." I didn't dare glance at Benjamin. I passed them with my gaze fixed on the floor. After a few seconds, I felt Benjamin's steps by my side.

"Your class starts in 30 minutes," he said and I nodded.

"You said you needed a hug." I nodded again and stopped. He swung his arms over my shoulder, and I lifted mine around his waist. I felt like crying. I didn't know what was happening to me or how to stop it, but I knew I wanted Benjamin to never let me go. However, Benjamin's arms shortly fell to his side, and I again wondered if he hated me. Yesterday, he avoided hugging me in front of Jasmine when he usually wouldn't care, then we slept on the couch with his arms around me. Today, he seemed reserved again.