Fractured Heartstrings

Ch 16

Alyssa's POV
__________

I stopped and parked the car out in front of my parents driveway. Taking uneasy deep breathes, forcing myself to keep the chocking sobs on the inside. But it didn't do much, I dropped and hung my head, sobbing so loudly through my car.

Every second was like a tortuous hell I couldn't escape. But I willed my body upright, wiping away the streaming tears. Bringing my body out of my wrecked car, dragging my body up the stairs leading up of my old home. Without any knocks I watched my mom rush straight to the door, opening with no doubt neither hesitant. She had an awful expression of scared and mixed with sympathy feeling. Because all I need right now, was a motherly diagnose hug moment.

She immediately brought me in her tightly warm motherly hug I was hoping for, more figuring knowing exactly I was breaking down in front of her porch. I only wanted my mother's embrace at the time, "I don't want dad to see me like this" I sobbed in her shoulder, softly and controllably at this rate.

"He's at work today honey, now let's bring you inside" she whispered softly, unwrapping me and kissing my forehead as she used to back ago. I nodded while sniffling through my very clearly red puffy nose. Knowing my father so well, he hadn't known half of my relationships - in fact he always thought I was the good girl. But losing my virginity at fifteen and half ain't exactly something I'm proud of neither did it make my reputation portray as a 'goody girl', nothing he needed to know anyway either.

My father would immediately race over to saluter William if he found out he broke me in pieces. More so my dad would've saluted red flags, or throw daggers with his eyes towards me alongside with William too, for keeping so many things in shadows, or my drinking addiction a secret for a long while.

"Sissy!" Sophie spoke running through the slippery hallways, gliding on the cleaned floors into my grasp. I quickly well enough hid my tears, she was still quite young and I'd rather have her not know that her new favourite guy broke my heart. Although we weren't officially broken up, I knew it wouldn't be shortly till. But those were thoughts I didn't want to get into, but neither were hey on a positive side of my thoughts.

But my sister knew me better than anyone, her smile faded in a clearly obvious saddened frown. "What's wrong?" She gulped, her voice week as she starred with her eyes through my weekly broken soul.

I tilted my eyes over to my mom, looking for the advice on what to tell her. "Nothing Sophie. It's just some people break promises on what they promise to be. Not everyone is what they promise to be, sometimes it's broken easily" I spoke. Clearly obvious I was quickly realizing everything I had done, he must've been more broken than me though. I only came here to think out my thoughts, William was probably more on the side of not talking to me. Plus I hadn't eaten and slept comfortably Ina while, since I slept in my car for two straight days.

"I'm going to go upstairs mom" I signed, I was getting back to everything I used to do as a reckless stupid teenager. Going to hide everything, behind the simple lightly painted doors of my bedroom. I didn't want to think back to the days I did everything I used to promise against.

But I guess people can't always keep that promise of what they promise to be.
Reality sucks, and I'm only starting to realize The things I should've a while ago. Maybe things really don't change, if you don't want them to, or at least try to change the broken. I suppose I never really stop things quick enough before I realize, or depending on how bad they got. Sometimes it takes other to bring the actual realization out of me, sometimes not so much. All in all its accidentally.

But as I did sink my mind back to the younger days, every non existent rule I lived up to and by. My sister was up and at me by my tail, she grew up watching me cry through sorrows, break so easily. Although then she never really understood, now I was hoping she would never turn to be anything near the carless girl I was.