Fractured Heartstrings

Ch 15

Alyssa's POV

I starred blankly out the window, looking down upon the fellow lovers or even the brightly shining sun atop of them, atop of us all. I had enough guts to even get up, I'd much rather be sobbing my aching heart out on my pillow in bed. But my mind and body was desperately telling me otherwise.

I could easily tell how broken William was, I couldn't help my mind stop from thinking this is all caused from me. The past morning the only thoughts coming across my mind, was if I should twist the doorknob open and shuffle down across the streets back home. If I had truly never fallen for him, none of the heart breaking drama would get to both of our heads.

I've been too badly damaged, yet I can never stop myself from falling so desperately. With William though, he had some sort of magical charm upon me, it who was to blame. The heart wants what it wants.

I was sipping down to my almost empty bottle of tequila, as badly as the tequilas burned every sip. It somehow played the affect of making me feel better.

William was out for a walk, he left sometime last night. Leaving a note and leaving me shattered in pieces. Every fast ticking second is like torture, the bed's getting cold and he's not even here. Our future was breaking apart and slipping so farther from unclear, and I was only thinking of the reasons to give him up. If it wasn't for my heart, he would've easily been gone in my life.

I've never had happy endings, nor was I living in any fairytale. I was breaking down, drinking down to burn every feeling I was captivating inside of my old solid partly broken heart.

I brought my shaking broken body up, smashing the now empty bottle hard against the flooring. Shattering to tiny pieces, reminding me of my shattered heart I slumped around with. I was way over dizzy to even realize how much I had Frankenstein, since the fact all my bottles were smashed against his flooring. Plus I didn't care to notice that I smashed some of his photos on the ground too.

I brought my uneasy hazy body to the door, exiting and slamming the door tightly shut. Quickly walking on all the smal prickles of shattered, now blood covered glass on my bare feet and hands. Not only was I lingering through the endless unbearable pain in my aching broken heart, but the blood and pain that dripped from my feet and hands. I was lacking in everything, too drunk and hazy to care of how painful every step got or how every thought caused some sort of stab like pain through my chest.

I somehow hopped into my car, slamming my fists hard onto the steering wheel. After endless spent minutes of breaking down tears and crying sobs of misery and torture. I started up my car, hazing in my vision but still visibly clear the roads were to me. It wasn't long after that I sang along to heart break songs, I was clearly acting crazy and defiantly hazy. Too drunk to care, I. Fact I was lucky enough no one was out on the streets.

I just needed to start praying I'd stay and last long enough to stay alive. As I sang louder, swerving any visible cars, I ripped my car through some ditch. Opening the trunk to a trunkful of Booz, spirits and wine bottles. Some half empty, other spilled and crackled bottles. William had no idea about any of it, I i fact hid and stashed most of my drinks in his fridge.

I carried most out to the view which stood over the perfect view of the ocean-blue-crystal-perfectly still lake. Not a bird in the sky, nor a cloud, or people in sight. This was my type of paradise, because now I was finally excepting the whole idea of no longer a future, fairytale happy ending, romance, it would be a love free story for me now. He would probably be screaming out of his mind, but I was drinking my hardest to prevent my mind drifting off to his perfectly sculpted figure and dazzling Prince blue eyes and hair.

Though in a way I thought my complete haziness and anger was completely awaited and necessary. He broke a promise, and that was enough for me to mentally and physically break down. As I sipped down on the jack Daniels I had in my hand, I was able to visualize a future no longer consisting of his lusting love. Though my mind was able to struggle through the thoughts, my heart was shattering and breaking each passing minute.