My Little Mind Reader

31. Boys Don't Cry

Forth's POV

Beam was driving me insane. Since our half drunken night together, he'd ignored me, yelled at me, and finally asked if we could still be friends. Maybe I should have left it at that, but I was angry.

He'd been the one to kiss me first, he had wanted to take it further. Our moans had filled his room as we explored our desires, but the next morning he'd left without a word. I woke up alone in his bed. Who runs away from their own room? He could have talked to me that morning, but he'd left it for me to chase him down. And like a fool, I had.

The problem was that even though he said he wanted to be friends, he kept coming back for more. More kisses, more touches, until we were far beyond a one night stand. Without talking about it, we had moved into a murky kind of swamp that some people called friends with benefits. I'd been there before. I called it hell.

Friends with benefits meant things I didn't want to consider, because my feelings for Beam weren't exactly friendly. Physically, everything was great, but I wanted more. More than just kisses, more than just great sex. I wanted to be able to tell people he was mine. I wanted him to want me to be his.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Beam practically yelled at me when I brought it up. "What we have now works. Why do you have to complicate everything?"

"Knowing where we stand makes things less complicated," I responded. I was standing naked in Beam's room, trying to find where we'd thrown my boxers this time. As usual, Beam didn't want me to stay after we finished.

"Things are fine as they are," Beam said, pulling on his own clothes and sitting on the couch with his phone.

I finally found my boxers, behind a framed picture of his family on his nightstand. I pulled on my clothes, still watching as Beam played on his phone, totally ignoring me now that we were out of his bed.

"This isn't enough for me," I said, standing in front of him fully dressed, feeling my hands balling into fists. "I want more."

"We're not going to get anywhere talking about it now," Beam said, standing up angrily and pushing past me to open the door and let me out, "Let's talk when we've had time to calm down."

We'd had this exact conversation at least four times already and he would always say we would talk about it another time. But whenever I brought it up, he got angry or changed the subject.

"Goodbye Beam," I said with finality. I'd had enough. I wasn't willing to do this again. I walked down to my motorcycle and got on, trying to calm my anger. I drove for awhile, not even knowing where I was going, but finally pulled over and called Ming. I needed to talk to someone.

After a short phone call, I drove to the dorm where Ming and Yo lived and I knocked on Yo's door. He smiled at me when he opened the door and let me inside.

"I had food delivered," Yo said, pulling me to sit down at the table. Ming and Kao were already inside.

"I've got some work to do," Kao said, ruffling Yo's hair before walking to the door. "I'll be next door if you need me."

"See you soon," Yo said, sitting down to eat. "Eat, guys, I'm starving."

Ming sat down and began filling his plate, but I wasn't hungry. I was still too upset to feel like eating. I knew that Ming and Yo would listen. I'd already decided I was done. I wouldn't play this game with Beam, I didn't want to be friends with benefits. But I couldn't force my heart to stop wanting him.

"Tell us what's wrong," Ming said with his usual teasing tone. "We're waiting with bated breath."

"Give him a minute, Ming," Yo said, nudging Ming with his shoulder. "This is something important."