the last thing i wanna do (lil peep fanfic)

ten

i slowly opened the door to tracy's. it had become their hangout spot. i walked almost into the living room.
"man, fish, your new beat is amazing! who's gonna get it?" adam asked.
"not gonna lie, i was gonna hand it over to yawns." ben smiled.
"aw, bitch!" gus muttered. "i had a good plan for it, too. i'll suck your dick if i can have it."
"that's tempting. but no."
"that's not fair anyways." tracy said.
gus laughed. "you should've offered first." he looked up and his expression changed. "lillian." he whispered.
"what?" adam furrowed his brow, confused on what he said.
a tear rolled down his cheek. "lillian." he got up and raced towards me, wrapping his arms around me and picking me up. "lillian." he sobbed.
"gus." i mumbled into his neck.
"i thought i lost you." he held me tighter. "i thought you genuinely died, i..."
"i'm alive."
"my ghost girl." he whispered, barely comprehensible.
"yeah."
he carried me to the couch and sat down, so i was sitting on his lap. after he stopping crying, he sniffed and looked up. "she's alive." he said.
ben smiled. "yeah, she is."
gus's hand cupped my cheek and his thumb traced over my lips. he exhaled softly and leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. kissing gus... felt amazing. he was so sweet and soft and it was like a dream come true. i knew kissing peep would be different. but gus... he tasted like chocolate, and the faint remainder of the tears from before. the way his hands held my hips made me smile, and he smiled back.
"alright, no pda!" tracy yelled, laughing.
gus and i broke apart and i tumbled out of his lap. "look what you did." ben teased, offering me his hand. i took it and climbed back onto the couch.
"that was cute." adam smiled.
i reddened and looked down, when gus tilted my chin up. "hm? yeah, it was cute."
"we witnessed history, boys, peep settling down." ben joked.
"aw, shush." i mumbled.
"when did it start? that you were in love with her?" tracy asked.
gus smiled. "we fucked in high school, cuz i didn't know what it was like. she was a bit of a slut then."
"hey!" i yelled.
"what? it's true. anyways, it was a bit after that." he shrugged. "normal teenage love shit."
"uh, peep?" adam interjected. "normal teenagers don't decide to fuck their best friend to know what it feels like and falls in love with them."
"aw, shut up. so none of you fell in love with your best friend from high school?"
"no." ben laughed. "we're normal."
"y'all are mean."
i smiled and kissed gus's head. "gonna go back home. i'm really tired, i didn't get much of a break. i cleaned and then slept, then came here."
"okay. be safe." he squeezed my hand and smiled.

***
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***

we were in my apartment, sitting on the couch. "gus, i'm bored."
"me too. wanna watch a movie?"
"mhm. what do you wanna watch?"
"twilight."
"twilight? really?"
"yeah."
i sighed and turned it on. about twenty minutes in, gus looked at me and smiled. i noticed his look. "what?" i asked.
he immediately reddened. "um. so um. i don't know how to say this."
"aw, can lil peep not form his words? cute." i teased.
"lillian! um, i was just wondering... if you... i dunno... wanna be my girlfriend?"
"yeah, i do."
"wait, really?"
"of course."
he wrapped his arm around my waist. "i love you." he mumbled.
"i love you too."