the last thing i wanna do (lil peep fanfic)

fifteen

lillianjames: hellboy
[comments]
lilpeep: bruh ur fiancé is so cute
fish_narc: i'm sorry WHAT lilpeep EXPLAIN
tracyminajj: UR FIANCÉ???? YALL R ENGAGED????
user2927392: theyre gonna be married 🥺🥺🥺
gothboiclique: WOW BRO
yunggoth300: shiiiiiit he's hot i wanna marry him. we can share?

gus wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "in about a minute they'll be calling me, blowing my phone up. you know what, i'll just text the groupchat." he took his phone out and typed something out. "okay, we're going to tracy's in an hour."
i laughed. "okay."
"we should start to drive back."
he looked at the time. "it's only a forty five minute drive, if i follow the speed limit. we could do something in that time."
"make out."
he smiled and took me into the back of the car, then started kissing me. "mine." he mumbled.
"yes, i'm yours."
one of his hands was squeezing my thigh, the other hand was cupping my cheek. he smelled like the blunt we had smoked before i took the photo of him. he bit my bottom lip. "baby."
"yeah?"
"i love you." he kissed right next to my mouth.
"i love you too."
"i wanna kiss everywhere on your body." he said.
"what's stopping you?"
"i dunno." he kissed my hair, then my forehead, then down to my nose and then to my mouth again. "you smell good."
"like the blunt."
"mhm." he kissed my jaw and then my neck. then he grabbed my arm and kissed my hands and arms. he pulled down my sweatshirt a bit, then kissed my collarbone. "are you okay going further?"
"you don't have to ask with me." i said, tracing his lips with my thumb. "we're engaged."
"i'm gonna. i don't ever wanna make you uncomfortable."
i smiled. "i'm okay with it."
he kissed down my chest, focusing on my breasts, and then moved down to my stomach. he pulled down my pants and kissed my thighs, then looked up and grinned at me. "i've already kissed there before."
i couldn't help but giggle. "dummy."
"yours." he kissed my thighs again, this time on the inside, and then moved down to my legs. once he finished, he moved back up and kissed my lips. "we need to go."
"yeah, probably."
we moved to the front seats and gus started driving. the car's bluetooth stared ringing. he took the call. "yo."
"peep, where the fuck are you?" ben said. "man, we need an explanation."
he smiled and pulled into the highway. "we're coming, we're half an hour away. slow the fuck down, man."
"alright, alright. both of you? good. see you then." ben ended the call.
i laughed. "they're so confused."
"i don't see why. we're engaged."
"they probably want to know the story."
"i fought a dragon and saved you from the biggest castle ever and you just swooned into my arms, promising to be mine forever."
"gus!" i lightly hit his arm.
he laughed and took one of his hands off the steering wheel. he grabbed my hand and raised it up to his lips, kissing it softly. i smiled and a few tears fell from my eyes. he glanced at me. "baby, you okay?" he asked, concerned.
"yeah. i just... i thought that one suicide attempt would be it, you know?"
"but it wasn't."
"it could've been."
he squeezed my hand. "i got that text from tracy, saying you were in the hospital. and i thought it was something, like, not serious. like your appendix or some. and i asked him what happened and he told me you attempted suicide and my heart dropped. i called momma, booked a flight back, and for weeks i was scared. and the day you came home, god, i can't explain how relieved i was. i didn't ever wanna let you from my arms. and now i won't."
"yeah..."
"when you didn't respond for two weeks, adam finally told us what happened and i was high on molly, and... i reacted the way i shouldn't have. but when i saw you in your apartment, fucked up, hurt, i lost all control. and you said the shit to me and i said shit back to you, and you dismissed me and i let out how i really felt about you. and i... i almost lost you again. i was scared."
"what about the time at tracy's?"
he sighed and pulled off the highway onto a ramp. "i wanted to kill the guy. tracy said it wouldn't be worth it, but i wanted to strangle him until he died and then bring him back to life to do it again. absolutely no one hurts my baby. but tracy made me settle for taking care of you. and then i got drunk and... and then you were so kind to fish and acting like nothing happened. and i wish... i just wish none of this bullshit ever happened to you. i want to be able to take all of your pain away from you. and i can't, and i feel bad. you've been through so much and you never deserved any of it."
"really?"
"yeah." he paused for a minute. "every time i've driven i've wanted to swerve the car into traffic. i haven't wanted to do it now. cause you're in the car."
"gus..."
"i know, it's fucked."
"i get it."
"yeah." he pulled into tracy's driveway and parked the car. "i just... i wish you didn't have to go through all this shit. and i'm sorry i couldn't have stopped it."
"it's okay."
"it's not-"
"it is. let's go inside, yeah?"
he nodded and got out of the car. i walked around to him and laced our fingers together. he quickly kissed me and we walked to the front door, where he opened it. "alright, i'll explain it if you guys don't lose your absolute shit!" gus yelled.
"you're engaged? cool." someone said. i looked at him. he looked back at me and smirked. "eric. you'd be lillian, peep's fiancé? you're prettier then adam said."
i laughed. "hi, eric."
"explain!" ben yelled, running in and sliding on the wood floor. he slipped and caught himself.
"no." i smiled. "sit on the couch and get the rest of your clique."
"you don't have any authority over me."
"i'm fucking gus."
"that's true, she is." gus smiled and slid his arm around my waist. "does a hell of a job of it, too."
"get your asses on the couch! peep has a story!" ben shouted, sitting on the couch.
eric rolled his eyes and laughed, leaning against the wall. "you guys look cute together. although watch it, peep, i could take your girl with one look." he winked at me.
"oh, ghoste, don't you dare." gus chuckled, pulling me onto a loveseat across from the couch.
adam, tracy, and chris walked into the living room. chris sat next to ben, tracy hopped on the back of the couch, and adam sat on the floor. "okay, story time." tracy said.
"we went on a drive after the concert, i told her to stop the car. she pulled over and i told her that i wanted to marry her. she agreed."
"give us the details." chris pulled his hair into a ponytail.
"on the drive back, he played skyscrapers and sang along to it. we told liza, she was happy, and then we cuddled after." i said.
"skyscrapers? as he should've." someone said. i turned my head around. "jay."
"coldy." ben said. "no one calls you jay. you are just coldy."
jay rolled his eyes and sat next to ben. "shut up. so i heard the legend was engaged? to this chick right here?"
"yeah. i'm lillian."
"i'm surprised i never met you before now. you've been important to gus for a long time."
"i haven't met mackned yet, so don't feel too bad."
"you're not missing out on much." he laughed. "i'm probably the first to say this, because the rest of the guys suck, but welcome to the family."
"thank you." i smiled.
"we're gonna miss bachelor peep." tracy said. "you can't go around with girls anymore."
gus shook his head and smiled. "i got my girl, i don't need anyone else."
"fair enough." ben looked at me. "at least you chose a good one."
"yeah. i really did."