Leaving 2014

II. Who I'm With

In my mother's eyes, everything I do is a mistake. I should know better. Why am I being so dramatic? Why do I feel so unloved and disliked when I'm not the one initiating a chance to bond? Why do I freak out so much? All I have to do is chill out, stop caring so much.

I got an A on my chemistry test? Shame on me if I didn't.

I stay at home too much? Why don't I ever have friends over? I'm sorry, I haven't any friends. Either they're thousands of miles away, or they don't exist.

Oh, no. She's not really my friend. Yes, we were for years best friends, but then a boy came along. The first boy to reaply actually like her, so she's with him. You see, he's a total dick to me, that's why we can't be friends anymore. He crushed me with his sharp tongue and his striking hand. Yes, she's still with him. She, the girl who was my best friend, yes.

Oh, her? I thought so, too. She doesn't want to be around me. Her honey-sweet words and warm hugs are only part of the make-up she wears. She doesn't like me. I couldn't celebrate her birthday with her, because she doesn't want to be around me.

Him? He's wonderful. He's the smartest and nicest guy on the planet. Though I'm beginning to fear he thinks I'm some maudlin, anxious drama queen; I wouldn't want to trouble him with my moodiness. Although, I'm pretty sure he's not that into me anymore.

Her? Ah, yeah, her. That beautiful, furry four-legged critter with the mixed coat! Yes, yes, she's my best friend! My best friend is my dog. Other than that, nobody likes me enough to reply to me or be honest with me. It hurts, when friends lie to you because they don't want to be around you. Really hurts.