fearless

epilogue

Lettie avoided asking her mother the question that plagued her mind for a couple of days after John B's and Sarah's disappearance. Part of her knew the answer, she just didn't want it to be real. She knows why David's shoes are missing from the front door, and why Donavan's comic books aren't cluttering the coffee table. But, she had to ask anyways.

"David left the morning after you did," Lynette slowly says, cautiously watching for Lettie's reaction, "He said he needed to think about our relationship, he took Donavan with him."

"Is it-," Lettie pauses, clearing her throat, "Is it because of what I said?" The words are loud, and they echo in Lettie's mind: I mean, hell, you've been with the same guy for nine years! And you won't let him put a damn ring on it because you're still scared of some asshole you'll never see again!?

Lynette hesitates, and Lettie knows the answer to her question, "He'll be back soon, mon coeur."

"Can I be alone, s'il te plait?" Lettie asks, leaning onto the kitchen counter, her guilt like a rock in her stomach. Her mother had been alone the whole time because of words Lettie had fired out in a fit of rage. Jj had been outside for the past thirty minutes doing a repair on the bug that Lettie requested. Truthfully, Lettie just wanted him out of the house so she could talk to her mom.

Lynette nods, pressing a kiss to Lettie's head before she moves past her, leaving the kitchen and heading down the hall to her bedroom. Lettie doesn't cry until she hears the door close. Her fault. They lost her dad and her brother because of her. Frustrated, Lettie slams her fist down on the counter top a few times, using her other hand to silence her sobs, not wanting to be heard.

Taking a deep breath, Lettie looks up, her eyes landing on the family's liquor cabinet. Lettie doesn't hesitates, she hustles over to it, tearing it open and grabbing two bottles without even looking at the labels. She shoves them into her backpack, which had been sitting on the kitchen table. Barely stopping to put shoes on, Lettie sprints out the back door, through the backyard and into the treeline behind her house. Lettie runs and runs and runs until she can't run anymore. Then, she sinks to the ground, tears still flowing down her cheeks, and hysterical sobs racking her body. She can't breathe, she can't think. It was her fault. Taking out one of the bottles, she lets the liquid burn its path down her throat.

She doesn't know how long she sits there, uncomfortable, drinking, crying, before she stands up, nearly falling over with the substances in her system. Carrying the bottle Lettie walks further, emerging by a road.

She doesn't look as she steps into the street, tires squealing as a familiar jeep slams to stop in front of her. Lettie doesn't move, unafraid of the concept of being run over as the Jeep halts a couple feet away from her. The brunette simply gives the person behind the wheel a wave before she takes off in a slow, sloppy jog.

Lettie ends up on her favourite beach, the same spot she found herself on after the incident at Barry's house. Lettie opens the other bottle, wincing as she smells the strong drink, but throwing some of it back nonetheless. She wants to be numb. She wants to forget. She wants to soften the pain in her chest that was her own fault. 

-

When Jj finished up the bug, it had been hours. A simple repair turned into him wasting time on things that didn't really need to be fixed, but would help Lettie out in the long run. Wiping off his hands, Jj heads into the Moreau house, which is hauntingly quiet, absent of Donavan's loud giggle. Lynette had let him temporarily move into the guest room of the home, keeping her promise from two days prior.

"Scarlett?" Lynette calls, Jj furrows his brows, following the voice to the kitchen. When Lynette realizes it's not who she had called for, her head falls into her hands, "Jj, sweetheart, have you seen Scarlett?"