fearless

seventeen; lean on me

Lettie didn't know where to go. She couldn't go back to Chateau, facing John B or Jj seemed to be too much of a task right now. The Carreras have already seen too much drama because of Lettie, so she didn't want to go there. And she definitely couldn't go back to her 'perfect house,' and 'perfect family' as Jj put it.

The thought of the blond boy makes her heart ache in her chest. We're done, Lettie. His words were casual and cold, almost as if he were scolding her.

So, Lettie finds herself on her favourite stretch of beach, a few miles away from the boneyard. The waves crashing onto the reef in the distance is comforting, but she wishes it was quiet. She wishes her mother was here, and David, and Donavan. They provide the best comfort. She wishes she didn't walk away from Kiara, and that she apologized to John B. She wishes she never yelled at Jj. More than anything, Lettie wishes her brain wasn't so fucked up. She wishes she was scared of something, anything, because then she wouldn't be so angry.

The one thing she doesn't regret is telling Jj she loves him. Was it the way she planned? Of course not, but it happened. There's no changing that.

She told him she loves him, and he broke up with her.

The thought of it brings tears to Lettie's eyes again. The same boy that never lets her surf alone, that loves her family, the boy that carries her home when she's tired, and takes care of her everyday, had broken her heart. Leave me, he had said, and Lettie didn't want to.

Lettie pulls her phone from her back pocket. For a second, she debates using the last bit of battery to call her mother, but instead she texts her location to Kiara and opens her camera roll.

Flipping through pictures, Lettie stops on a particular one. It was after her last soccer game of the season, her Kildare uniform with her famous number nine. Her cheeks were flushed and pink from the effort she had put in, even though they lost by two. Beside her, Jj stands, his arm around her waist, and the other hand holding a sign that says 'Looking fine, Number 9'. Both teenagers are smiling at the camera. Lettie scrolls past it, seeing the rest of the Pogues, minus John B (he never made it to a game). The next picture had Pope and Jj holding Lettie up in the air on their shoulders while Kiara stressed about them dropping her best friend, her hands desperately clutching the sign.

Tears build up at the memory, and Lettie swipes past it, seeing a picture of her and her family at the same game. Lettie looks at her mother's smile and a tear slips down her cheek.

The next photo few photos are nothing important, a few songs Lettie wanted to learn on guitar but hadn't gotten around to yet. Then a video of John B attempting to catch a fish with his hands. He didn't, and Kiara shoved his head under the water. Lettie's laughter starts behind the camera before the video ends.

There's a picture of Kiara and Lettie at nationals. Lettie had won, and Kiara was the only one of her friends who could make it that year. Lettie is fresh out of the water, her surf leash still keeping her anchored to her board. Kiara has an arm around the girl, not caring that she's soaking wet. Lettie however, is crying in the photo. Her hand over her mouth as joyous tears spill over her cheeks. The announcement of the French girl's victory had just been called out over the beach, and Lettie was surrounded by people congratulating her. Lynette had taken the picture and sent it to Lettie a few days later.

"You did it, Frenchie!" Kiara cheers, hugging the girl tightly. Even with her rash guard on, Lettie has goosebumps radiating over her body, Your National Champion, Scarlett Moreau! The announcer had called.

Lettie could barely believe it, she had scored a perfect ten in her last heat, something she didn't believe she could do. All of her hard work, the training she endured everyday, all of it it had paid off. Sobs are suddenly raking through her body as Kiara holds her close, praising her for her victory. Lettie clings to her friend, zoning out the people around her, as they start to make a crowd. Topper is there somewhere, he had placed somewhere in the top ten in his competition earlier in the day.